05/28/2026
For the Sourdough Fans‼️
🎵 Bohemian Rhapsody (Sourdough Edition) 🎵
(A playful bakery parody inspired by the style and structure of the classic song)
🎶
Is this the starter?
Is this just flour free?
Caught in fermentation,
No escape from bakeryyyyy 🎶
Open your jar,
Look at the bubbles and seeee…
I’m just a home baker,
Need simplicity…
Because it’s feed-feed-rise, little high, little low,
Any way the dough goes doesn’t really matter to meeee…
To meeeee…
Mamaaaa…
Just killed a loaf…
Over-proofed it on the counter,
Now it spreads instead of grows…
Mamaaaa…
Bread had just begun…
But now I’ve gone and burned the crust awayyyy…
Mama, ooohhhhh…
Didn’t mean to make you rye,
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on, as if gluten really matters…
Too late… my timer’s gone…
Sends shivers down my spine,
Starter’s hungry all the time…
Goodbye everybody, I’ve got to knead…
Gotta leave you all behind and bulk fermenttttt…
Mamaaa ooohhhh—
(I don’t wanna fold!)
Sometimes wish I’d never started sourdough at alllll…
🎶 I see a little boule-uetto of a loaf! 🎶
Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will you do the stretch-and-fold?!
Thunderbolts and oven spring very very frightening me!
(Magnifico!)
Magnifico!
Magnifico-o-o-o-o!
I’m just a poor baker, nobody loves me…
“He’s just a poor baker from a poor pantry!”
Spare him this starter monstrosity!
Easy crumb, airy crumb, will you let me bake?!
Bismillah! No! We will not let you bake!
(Let him bake!)
Bismillah! We will not let you bake!
(Let him bake!)
Will not let you bake!
(Let him bake!)
Never never never never let me bake—OH OH OH OH!
So you think you can slash me and leave me to dry?!
So you think you can feed me then say “starter died”?!
Ohhhhh baby… can’t do this to me baby…
Just gotta get out…
Just gotta preheat right nowwwww…
🎶 Nothing really matters…
Anyone can see…
Nothing really matters…
Except hydration to meeeeeee… 🎶
Any way the dough rises… 🍞
