08/24/2024
Here's a snippet of the book for you... please let me know what you think?
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Today's excerpt from "Without A Compass":
CHAPTER 3 – FINDING BALANCE
As my flight hurdled south toward Florida, I took inventory of where I was in life. I had two kids with the youngest due to graduate high school in a year. I was newly married to Leanne, my second wife. We had a home and a solid life. It wasn’t the dream of selling t-shirts on the beach, but it was a solid life all its own. It was SAFE. Perhaps I had I become my father?
I felt I was in a state of non-living. Until then, I was climbing the corporate ladder, and making a name for myself. I had changed roles every 4-5 years, allowing for rapid advancement. Each new opportunity brought a new challenge, more responsibility, and greater reward. I answered the bell with each new opportunity, yet when the workday was over, I felt empty. It seemed like the only identity I had was the title on my business card. When people asked what I did, I referred them to that title. When they asked what I did outside of work, I drew a blank. Drinking wine with my wife while enjoying a nice dinner hardly seemed like a full and balanced life.
I got so busy living in the now, so busy defining my career, that I lost sight of my whole identity.
Not long after the plane entered Florida airspace, the Gulf of Mexico was in sight. As we approached Tampa Bay, we were put into a holding pattern. Circling above the gulf, I noticed a fleet of sailboats floating in harmony on the water. I contemplated the freedom that would come from living life on the water just like that. Moving into a “neighborhood” and dropping anchor. When you became tired of your surroundings, it would be as simple as pulling anchor.
This brought me back to a time when Dreamer Shawn was highly active in my life. I reflected on many a Saturday, on many a lake, where I spent the day sailing in my little Sea Snark. I would hit the lake early in the morning and often stay out till dusk. It was about more than sailing. It was about the freedom of being on the water, riding the wind. I used to dream of a lifestyle…exactly the lifestyle I was seeing through that plane window… Freedom, living by the sea, and the ability to move on to endless destinations worldwide.
I came to realize that memories that were stirring in me were memories of when I enjoyed a much more balanced life.
What I had discovered was that I had taken “growing up” too far. Becoming a father was something that happened to me before I had planned for it. That meant I had not taken the to time to discover how to become a father, or a balanced adult for that matter. I obsessed with becoming what I saw as a role model. My father was a successful, driven businessman who never let me down. Despite any struggles he and my mother might have encountered, what I saw was a table that always had food and a home that kept us warm and dry.
I became consumed in my career to provide these same things to my family. I made my career my entire identity.
In that moment, I realized that either I had completely forgotten what a balanced life was, or I had just given up on the pursuit of the same. The emptiness that gnawed at me told me that changes were needed before burn out consumed me and undermined all hope of finding balance and purpose.
