01/03/2022
January always makes me reflective. Not just on the past 365 days, but on all different seasons in my life. This photo was taken in spring 2015 and Axle was only a few months old. He entered this world boldly (literally screaming), and spent the next year getting louder and louder. Sleep became foreign and so did self-care as I entered the season of motherhood. My entire universe and reality was shifting to compensate. There were nights I thought I’d never make it through. Our Days ran into each other, just as easily the tears flowed down my cheeks.
How could I ever be enough for this tiny star child? Would I ever do anything right? What was wrong with me?
Now looking back, I wish I could give my younger self some advice. If I could, I would silenced her inner critic. I would tell her how amazing it was that she kept trying. I would tell her she’s exactly enough and then I’d share a little about her bright blue eyed (screaming) boy in the future.
I’d tell her how he would call her his *favorite mama ever* and promise never to leave her. (“Not even for college!”).
Or that one Christmas Eve she would find a bag of his favorite toys under the tree with a note for Santa, asking for him to deliver the toys to children in need, instead of asking for more.
In my reflection I am reminded that Whatever situation you are in, it is only a season. There will be others, and this too shall pass. 💕