Shut Up, Telescope

Shut Up, Telescope Silly cards and gifts from Christine! Instagram

You'll always know I don't use AI in my content or product photos because they're... not very good. BUT look! New cards ...
06/14/2026

You'll always know I don't use AI in my content or product photos because they're... not very good.

BUT look! New cards are closer! Sneak peak...

I'm still working on finding the right envelope color (hey Roanoke, I think we need a comprehensive paper, stationery and packaging store with swatch books, hint hint) but I'm getting photos ready in the meantime.

Big thanks to a lovely, green-thumbed friend for loaning me her front yard as a photo backdrop while her cat dutifully watched over me.

Soon!

My peonies every time someone stops to smell them. Boundaries, people.-
05/13/2026

My peonies every time someone stops to smell them.

Boundaries, people.

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Find someone who gets you... nachos. But also finds someone who GETS you and appreciates you and your weirdo personality...
05/02/2026

Find someone who gets you... nachos.

But also finds someone who GETS you and appreciates you and your weirdo personality. You probably won't regret it!

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You guys my cats made an indie album tonight. It's mostly the sounds of puking, a little stomping. I guess it's like "st...
05/01/2026

You guys my cats made an indie album tonight. It's mostly the sounds of puking, a little stomping. I guess it's like "stomp clap" but "stomp HWOOORFK".

You probably wouldn't get it. It sounds terrible.

Gosh, it's been hard keeping up with posting on account of being a mom... HEY, speaking of moms! Mother's Day is coming ...
04/09/2026

Gosh, it's been hard keeping up with posting on account of being a mom... HEY, speaking of moms! Mother's Day is coming up and I've got these gems available.

For only children and/or those with siblings who were tortured and/or the torturer. Me? I'm a little of both... but it's a long game.

Available on Faire and Etsy!

I'm notoriously bad about keeping my own big news a secret, but I also know when to keep. my. mouth. shut. 🤐Good news! T...
03/06/2026

I'm notoriously bad about keeping my own big news a secret, but I also know when to keep. my. mouth. shut. 🤐Good news! This is not one of those times. Check out my third new card!

Have you started answering the door with a generic, "Good afternoon, come back with a warrant, have a nice day"? If you'...
02/26/2026

Have you started answering the door with a generic, "Good afternoon, come back with a warrant, have a nice day"?

If you're like me, sometimes this happens pre-coffee and you end up sending away someone you actually like, so for this inanely specific situation I made a card!

While there's a message inside, if you're not as compulsively polite as me you can absolutely white it out, or cut it off and hang this card on your front door. Voila! I'm in the home decor business now!

Let's welcome the NEW FLOCK ON THE BLOCK (ha haaa) with the first of my 4 new cards!Perfect for your favorite 6th year s...
02/22/2026

Let's welcome the NEW FLOCK ON THE BLOCK (ha haaa) with the first of my 4 new cards!

Perfect for your favorite 6th year senior, lifelong bachelor who cleaned his bathroom sink, or googly-eye enthusiast who finally posted new cards.

Available on and .

Happy Valentine's Day, weirdos!
02/14/2026

Happy Valentine's Day, weirdos!

When Knuckles says I'm done, I'm done. Four new designs at the printer as we (figuratively) speak, as well as a big old ...
02/02/2026

When Knuckles says I'm done, I'm done.

Four new designs at the printer as we (figuratively) speak, as well as a big old restock because Faire Market was awwwwwesome!

Thank you all!! Can't wait to post the new birds on the block.

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