10/01/2024
Kids say the darnedest things.
> My young grandson called the other day to wish me happy birthday.
> He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80.
> My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
>
> After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.
> As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
> Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.
> As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
> "Who was THAT?"
>
> A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like.
> "We used to skate outside on a pond.
> I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.
> We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
> The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in.
> At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
>
> My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
> I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?''
> "You're both real old," he replied.
>
> A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor.
> She told him she was writing a story.
> "What's it about?" he asked.
> "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
>
> I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.
> I would point out something and ask what color it was.
> She would tell me, and she was always correct.
> It was fun for me, so I continued.
> At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try figuring out some of this stuff for yourself!"
>
> When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
> Still, a few fireflies followed us in.
> Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa.
> Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
>
> When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."
> "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."
>
> A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
> The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said, warily. "How do you make babies?"
> "It's easy," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
>
> "Give me a sentence about a public servant," instructed the teacher during a lesson.
> One small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
> The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
> "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
>
> A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
> Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog
> The children started discussing the dog's duties.
> "They use him to keep crowds back," offered one child.
> "No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
> A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
>
> A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.
> "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her.
> Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."
>
> Grandpa is the smartest man on earth!
> He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
>
> My Grandparents are funny.
> When they bend over, you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.
