02/12/2023
Inner work isn’t always ”fun” or “pretty, more times then not it’s hard, sad, depressing and triggering. But it’s necessary. Some days are harder then others, and today is that day for me. I’m struggling today to find the good in it, where I am, what my life has been and what it is now, if I had to give this “feeling” a word it would be loneliness. And as thick as this “funk” is feeling it’s something I’m obviously needing to take a look at and acknowledge to myself. So here I am… understanding that I’m fixing to have to start on some pretty ugly shadow work, and just trying to size it up, and this one is a big one. So many things are coming to mind when thinking about “loneliness” and what it truly is and where it comes from.…and then that leads to the questions like “there’s got to more to life then this” and then That leads to past regrets, decisions made by your broken self and understanding just how different your life really would be had you just listened to your broken self instead of just trying to keep peace. Which leads to “WHY was I never important enough to myself to ever do what’s best for me and step out of the shadows of what everyone else wanted me for. Sorry guys, this isn’t a “feel good” post, today is hard. And THIS is shadow work at its finest…
This song is getting me through today
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