11/07/2026
🚨 LOCAL CRIME ALERT: THE $3 HEIST OF 2026 🚨
Y'all, I have officially seen it all. 😂
So I come into the store and find an empty box laying around. Naturally, I go investigate. A little rewind on the security cameras, and wouldn't you know it? We have ourselves a shoplifting situation!
Not only did I get to watch someone steal a $3 Fur Oil sample, but I also got to enjoy the bonus footage of her testing lipstick by rubbing it all over her hand and then putting it right back where somebody else is supposed to buy it. 🤢 Ma'am, that's not a tester anymore. That's your personal lipstick.
Now, I'm a reasonable person. I managed to get her phone number, reached out, and asked her to give me a call. She called, and after a rather interesting conversation, we agreed she'd pay for what she took.
I made it easy. VENMO. No driving back to the store. No awkward face-to-face encounter. Just three whole dollars sent electronically.
And to her credit, she did send the $3. So technically, the debt has been settled. Congratulations! 😂
BUT LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT...
I have a sign on my front door. It clearly states that if you come into my store and steal, you may find yourself featured on Facebook. And yes, I absolutely mean it.
Paying for something AFTER you've been caught doesn't erase the fact that you stole it. Making it right financially is one thing. Making sure everybody knows not to try it is another. 🤷♀️
Y'all, I own a small business, not a free sample distribution center for people who can't keep their hands to themselves.
And just for clarification, this wasn't some fancy perfume or expensive skincare product. This was a sample of Fur Oil, specifically marketed for p***c hair, skin & more. Yes, you read that right. 😂 Apparently, somebody was willing to risk it all for a $3 bottle of downstairs maintenance oil.
And ma'am, I hope that Fur Oil was worth it. I hope you smell like a million bucks, because apparently three dollars was a little too much to pay upfront. 🤣
At this point, I don't even want the $3. I just want to know if the entire production was worth the price of a McDonald's drink.
Happy Saturday, everybody! Please don't steal from small businesses. We have cameras, receipts, and apparently more free entertainment than Netflix. 🤣