Momma Nik's Creations

10/01/2022

I work really hard every day to undo the damage done by behaviorists.

It’s exhausting.

Example: A behaviorist was called in to a classroom for a child who was having “behavior problems”. They identified one ‘problem behavior’ as ‘tapping feet’.

A token board was set up where the child can earn “a 5-10 minute break” if they receive 5 tokens. One token was to be awarded every 20 minutes. Other ‘problem behaviors’ included calling out, making noises or talking.

So, the child can earn “a 5-10 minute break” every hour, assuming they get all 5 tokens. This child was having difficulty meeting the expectations of the classroom, so they were routinely not awarded tokens. That means no break. This child needed a break. Most children need breaks!

The child AND the teacher HATED the token system. The teacher hated it because they had to stop every 20 minutes to determine if the student was getting a token or not. If the teacher was objective, the child would never receive a token. It was impossible for this student to meet their expectations for 20 minutes straight. After the student FINALLY receives 1 token, they have to start all over again for another 20 minutes to try and get #2.

How exhausting. Why bother!

The whole token system was inauthentic, subjective, developmentally uninformed and setting the student AND the teacher up for failure.

But here’s the part that really angered me.

The behaviorist identified “tapping his feet” as a problem behavior.

The student’s feet aren’t on the ground.
The chair is too big for them.
Their feet are dangling, which certainly will promote “tapping”.
It’s really hard to have “nice sitting” (the behaviorists’ words) when your feet aren’t on the ground!

The behaviorist is only looking at observable behavior that THEY deemed “problem behavior”.

Solution:
I put a foot stool under the child’s desk.
I explained to them that this is a tool to help them.
Their feet are now able to be flat and support their core.
The tapping was no longer an issue.

Problem solved.

Token systems for behavior are inauthentic, subjective, developmentally uninformed nonsense that sets the teacher and student up for failure.

We owe it to our kids to do better.

06/05/2022

03/11/2022

What a difference a few words can make

I am a demand avoidant person.

Now that I understand this fact about myself, I do not allow people in my life to come to me with demands or ultimatums.

This is a firm boundary, now, because for most of my life, I had to turn my anguish, anxiety, and explosive feelings inward on myself… forcing myself to comply with the demands of others.

Demand = instant NO!

If I cannot express that boundary outwardly, I hold it in, as a surge of anxious panic, and hot red energy, boils inside me, building pressure like a volcano. I want to scream “NO!”, and run away, but I say “yes” and feel sick from it.

I don’t take orders. In fact, they shut me down & compel me to do the opposite of what’s been demanded of me.

Reasonable requests, however, are always considered.

It all depends on how you ask me…

ASK don’t demand. Your demands make me feel trapped, and cornered.

Phases that shut me down & trigger my avoidance include: “Do this!” “Don’t do this” “you must” “you should”

Alternatively, “Have you considered” or “Did you know” “I would like to share something with you” work much better.

Give me time to transition & adjust to new ideas and information.

Don’t surprise me, derailing my plans/schedule, or expect me to drop everything quickly.

Demand avoidant people, how could people better make requests of you??

11/27/2014

Happy Thanksgiving eve!!! Some new items to look out for!

*holiday items* pics to come very soon!

In the meantime here's a few pictures of NEW headband bows, shirt decals and well here's a hint of what's to come: SHIMMERY SHINY OH SO PRETTY GLITTER!

11/20/2014

I've been working on quite a few things!!! I can't wait to get home and show you all!

a certain someone is turning one in a month and nine days where has the time gone?!?!? I've been very very busy working on hand making 90% of everything for her birthday party, ex-buntings(1 burlap & 1 felt) decorating toothpicks and straws to have coordinating flags, spray painting mason jars, ONE letters, making tassel garlands, high chair birthday cover(which may just double as a fabric tutu ) birthday cake topper, picture #1 keepsake(it's soooo big), and so so sooooo much more! I could go on forever! Also we are attending a few play groups and our favorite skip & dip(char loves the pool!!!)!

We have some updates! GREAT NEWS little charnado is off all medication for her kidneys and we don't have to go back to Boston's Children's Hospital unless we have another 104.5+ fever and another confirmed kidney infection!!! Such a great news! keeping my fingers crossed all of that is behind us!

On another note, daddy has been away for two weeks for school which if you know char, you know she's quite the spirited child so this hasn't been the most boring two weeks to say the least! To all the single mommas, daddies, grandmas, grandpas, and guardians who do this all by yourself, I commend you! You are so strong and I admire your strength! you are everything to those little beauties!

Hope everyone is having an amazing day! To those who are in the states with all that snow please keep safe and warm!

Love bunches
Momma Nik & charnado
P.S. Here's a pic of her candle I'm working on(this is not the cake topper!)

11/15/2014

Any occasion, any theme! I can make it your dream

11/13/2014

Any and all upcoming gift ideas hand made by me!

11/13/2014

All the headbands I currently make and ideas of custom ones you would like made