Hermitage Agway

06/11/2026

Well, would you look at that. One week of Bible School and suddenly I'm a sheep.
If you watched the video, you'll see me sporting my orange bandana, proudly representing the Orange Sheep Team as I marched through green pastures and beside still waters. Psalm 23 has been our theme all week, and apparently the Lord is my Shepherd.
Which explains why He spends so much time trying to keep me out of trouble.
Now I'll be honest. When I first heard we were studying sheep, I thought they picked the wrong animal. Have you met me? I'm handsome, independent, slightly stubborn, and fully convinced I know better than everyone else.
Actually... now that I think about it... maybe I am a sheep.
Anyway, I was enjoying Bible School, making new friends, supervising activities, and keeping a close eye on the snack situation when I learned about this year's missions project.
The kids are raising money to help local children who don't have a bed to sleep in through Beds for Little Heads. The current need is 15 twin mattresses, and they hope to provide bedding too.
Friends, that hit this old farm cat right in the whiskers.
Every child deserves a safe place to lay their head at night. A warm bed. A comfy pillow. A blanket to snuggle under.
Preferably not with a cat stretched across the middle of it, but that's a separate issue.
Now here's the part that amazed me.
This Bible School is pretty small. We've got about 20 kids.
Twenty.
I've seen more cats gathered around a freshly opened can of tuna.
Yet these kids set a huge goal anyway.
And already they've raised enough money for FOUR twin mattresses and bedding sets!
FOUR!
That's what happens when little hearts decide to do big things for Jesus.
But we're not done yet.
So I've come up with a plan that is so brilliant I'm honestly surprised the humans haven't thought of it sooner.
At Hermitage Agway, I'm currently running Burt's Torn Bag Specials. We've got discounted mulch, chicken feed, soil, grass seed, and all kinds of treasures. The bags might have a little boo-boo, but the products inside are perfectly fine.
Kind of like some of the humans I know.
So here's my proposal:
You come to Agway. You buy some bargains. You save some money. Then you take part of those savings and help these kids put another mattress under a child who needs one.
It's a win-win-win.
You win because you got a deal. The kids win because they're helping others. A child wins because they get a bed. And Jesus wins because His people are loving their neighbors.
That's my kind of math.
And trust me, if you've ever seen me try to count, you know that's saying something.
So stop by, grab a torn bag special, and help us turn a few ripped bags into brand-new blessings.
Because while green pastures are wonderful, every child deserves a soft place to rest when the day is done.
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want." — Psalm 23:1
Now if you'll excuse me, I have sheep duties to attend to.
Mostly making sure nobody drops a snack.
Love like Jesus, shop like a bargain hunter, and remember...
This sheep is watching. 🐑🐈🧡 :::
🐾 – Burt, Chief Shepherd's Assistant, Snack Inspector, and Torn Bag Sales Manager

06/02/2026

Well would you look at that... a beautiful day, a tractor, and enough mulch piled up in front of me to make a groundhog think he's looking at the Rocky Mountains.

Now every spring I watch folks turn a simple mulch project into an Olympic event. They'll make six trips with a pickup truck, spend half a tank of gas, and somehow still end up two scoops short. By the end of the day, the truck's sagging, their back's hurting, and they're questioning every life decision that brought them to this moment.

That's why I hired people.

You call Hermitage Agway, tell my people how much mulch you want, pay over the phone, and we'll bring it right to your house. It's almost too easy. Frankly, it makes me suspicious.

And here's the part that'll really tickle your suspenders—the delivery fee is the same whether you order 1 yard or 12 yards. That's right. One scoop or twelve scoops. The truck doesn't care. The driver doesn't care. And most importantly, I don't care.

Back in my day, folks loaded mulch until the truck looked like it was doing a wheelie down the highway. Nowadays you can just call Hermitage Agway and let somebody else make poor decisions with a truck.

We've streamlined the process.

So save your truck springs, save your marriage, and save your Saturday. Let us do the hauling while you stand in the driveway pointing at things and saying, "Yep... put it right there."

Hermitage Agway has the mulch. I've got the tractor. My people have the phone. The only thing missing is your order.

— Burt 🐾

P.S. If you order 12 yards, I may personally wave at the delivery truck as it leaves. That's the kind of customer service you just can't get everywhere.

05/28/2026

Well… the goose clothes came in and apparently every porch goose in western Pennsylvania is about to be dressed better than their humans. 🪿🤣
I lined up all 6 geese for a fashion show and let me tell ya… these geese are FEELING themselves. We got summer geese, patriotic geese, fancy geese and the graduation goose outfit that’s already flying outta here faster than cat treats disappear around me.
And speaking of graduation… I wanna congratulate all the graduates this year, especially my buddy Clayton — my fill-in insulin giver and part-time emotional support human. ❤️
Clayton graduates tomorrow night and I’m very proud of him. I was told I’m not allowed to attend the ceremony because apparently “biting somebody in public” one time is a problem. Everybody’s so sensitive anymore.
So I’ll be staying home waiting for the pizza celebration afterward… assuming Clayton’s truck makes it there this time. That thing has broken down more lately than my patience when the food bowl is empty. 🚗💨😂
Also, while I’m talking geese… yes, our goose outfits and geese are priced really nice right now. But I still gotta give love to our friends over at Kraynak’s because they’re wonderful people that love Jesus and they put on some of the coolest walk-through displays around. There’s room for everybody when you shop local. ❤️
Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta get back to supervising goose fashion before somebody puts plaid on the patriotic goose again.

05/26/2026

05/22/2026

Burt the Cat here. 🐈🤠

Pictured with my rodeo partner “Sir Neighs-A-Lot” enjoying some premium groceries… aka Kalmbach Tribute Horse Feed that I picked up at the Memorial Day Sale at Hermitage Agway.

Y’all… it’s $2.00 OFF a bag right now, and even this horse knows a good deal when he sees one. He tried licking the tag off the bag before I could unload it.

Now most people don’t know this, but I do a little rodeoing in my spare time. Last weekend I accidentally entered the barrel racing because I thought it was the snack line. I didn’t win, but I did leave with a corn dog and most of my dignity. Barely.

BUT… IMPORTANT UPDATE…

I will NOT be at Agway this weekend or on Memorial Day because I have been called away on very important business helping Peachy get ready for Peachy’s Human’s Kentucky Derby Birthday Party. 🐴🎩

Apparently there’s a fancy hat contest. I already entered with a hat made entirely of baler twine, horse ribbons, and unpaid Agway receipts. I call it “Kentucky Debt-by.” Peachy said I’m either going to win or get escorted out immediately.

I’m mostly there for the snacks and emotional support.

But on a serious note… Memorial Day is more than cookouts, horse feed sales, and fancy hats. Today we remember and honor the brave men and women who gave everything for our freedom. Their sacrifice is something we should never take lightly. Please keep their families in your prayers and thank God for the freedoms we are blessed to have every day. 🇺🇸✝️

And while I’m off preparing for high society Derby life… don’t forget the Memorial Day Sale is still happening and the store will be OPEN Memorial Day from 8AM–2PM. Come grab your feed, pet supplies, mulch, flowers, and all the things you probably came for but will somehow leave with more of. 😂

05/14/2026

Alright yinz… Burt here. 🌭🇺🇸
Apparently I got a LITTLE too confident Saturday and ordered enough hot dogs to feed half of Mercer County. I started thinkin’ I was some kind of professional hot dog salesman. One minute I’m grillin’, next minute I’m basically the Mayor of Wienertown. 🤦‍♂️😂
SO… now I’m makin’ BURT DEALS.
🌭 Hot Dogs — $1.00 a pack
(They’ve been refrigerated and still got 2 months before they expire, so calm down Karen.)
🌭 Hot Dog Buns — 50¢ a pack
(These expire in 2 days, so I suggest yinz start eatin’ hot dogs morning, noon, and midnight. Put one beside your eggs for all I care.)
WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!
Now onto another thing…
Y’all kept askin’ about my patriotic “Shop Local” shirts Saturday. Well… I got TWO brand new Adult Small shirts available.
🇺🇸 $20 each.
And before anybody asks… no, I cannot magically stretch an Adult Small into a 2XL. I sell feed and propane, not miracles. 😂
BUT… if enough people keep bugging me about Burt shirts, we might just look into making more merch.
And one more little teaser…
👀 Burt might have a NEW FRIEND hanging around the store now.
That’s all I’m sayin’ for now… but let’s just say things are about to get even more interesting around Hermitage Agway. 😂

05/09/2026

🚨BURT'S LAST SALE DAY 🚨

05/07/2026

This is your warning! 🚨

05/05/2026

Alright… gather ‘round. It’s Burt 🇺🇸
It’s PROPANE SALE WEEK and I woke up and chose… financial irresponsibility. For me. Greatness for you.
🔥 $10.00 for a 20lb fill 🔥
Yes, ten dollars. No, I did not hit my head. Stop asking.
Just need a top-off?
50¢ a pound (normally 95¢, but apparently I’ve lost control of this establishment).
Perfect for:
🌭 firing up the grill and immediately realizing you’ve been lied to by your “full” tank
🍔 cooking 47 hot dogs because you can’t judge portions and now you’re in too deep
🥩 or aggressively flipping meat like it owes you money
Now… let’s talk about the shirts.
I didn’t say we had merch… but suddenly I’m on a shirt looking like Uncle Sam’s cooler cousin telling you:
👉 “I WANT YOU TO SHOP LOCAL – Hermitage Agway… and bring snacks.”
And yes… I made the staff wear them too. We look like a very patriotic cult. It’s fine.
Also—we’re celebrating 🇺🇸 America’s 250th Anniversary 🇺🇸
So honestly this feels historic. Like… tell your grandkids you got $10 propane from Burt.
⏰ Now through Saturday at 5:00 PM
If you show up at 5:01… I will be inside counting money and judging you through the window.
—Burt
Propane dealer. Shirt model. Snack inspector. Probably underpriced this.