06/12/2026
June is Pride Month, and I'd like to share a personal experience that taught me a lot about both discrimination and humanity.
A little over a year ago, my partner and I were working to refinance our cottage. We weren't trying to do anything extravagant. We were hoping to make much-needed improvements, consolidate some things, and create a little more stability in our lives. Like many people, we were simply trying to move forward.
As part of that process, we needed an appraisal.
When the appraisal came back, everyone was stunned.
Not just us. The bank was surprised. Our real estate professionals were surprised. The value came in dramatically lower than anyone expected. As I reviewed the report, I became concerned about more than just the number. There were statements about me and the property that I knew were inaccurate.
I had gone out of my way to be welcoming during the appraisal. As someone who struggles with anxiety, I understand how uncomfortable it can be to walk into unfamiliar situations, so I always try to make people feel at home when they are in mine. Reading those statements left me confused and hurt.
Rather than immediately assuming the worst, I reached out directly and professionally. I explained my concerns and pointed out the inaccuracies. I simply wanted honesty and a fair evaluation.
What happened next only deepened my concerns.
The inaccuracies remained. Statements that could be proven false continued to be defended. Despite my attempts to communicate directly, I never received the honest conversation I had hoped for. Instead, communication continued through the bank, and the situation became increasingly frustrating.
At that point, I felt something wasn't right.
I couldn't tell you exactly what was in another person's mind. I still can't. But I knew what I had experienced, and I knew the report did not accurately reflect either me or the property.
The part of this story that matters most is what happened afterward.
People listened.
My contact at the local bank listened.
Bank leadership listened.
Other lending professionals listened.
They reviewed the situation for themselves. They looked at the facts. They examined the report, the concerns that had been raised, and the circumstances surrounding it. Nobody dismissed what I was saying. Nobody told me I was imagining things. Nobody brushed it aside because it would have been easier to do so.
Ultimately, they came to their own conclusion: they believed discrimination was likely a factor.
Because of that, a second appraisal was ordered at the bank's expense.
The experience with the second appraiser could not have been more different. He was professional, respectful, thorough, and fair. When his report came back, the property was valued approximately $50,000 higher than the original appraisal and even exceeded what we had expected.
Think about that for a moment.
One person's bias, assumptions, or prejudice had the potential to significantly affect our finances, our plans, and our future. It delayed important decisions. It created stress that didn't need to exist. It forced us to defend ourselves when we should have simply been treated fairly from the beginning.
Discrimination is real.
It doesn't always come in the form of slurs, threats, or obvious acts of hate.
Sometimes it shows up in quieter ways.
Sometimes it looks like being judged differently.
Sometimes it looks like assumptions being made before someone gets to know you.
Sometimes it looks like decisions that don't quite add up.
And sometimes it leaves the people experiencing it wondering whether they're imagining things at all.
What stayed with me from this experience wasn't the discrimination.
It was the response.
It was the people who chose fairness.
It was the people who chose integrity.
It was the people who were willing to stand up and say, "Something here isn't right."
Social media often makes it seem as though the world is filled with nothing but anger, division, and hostility. It can make it feel like hate is everywhere.
My experience taught me something different.
Yes, discrimination exists.
Yes, prejudice still affects people's lives.
But there are also countless people who believe in fairness. Countless people who will do the right thing when it matters. Countless people who will look past differences and see another human being deserving of dignity and respect.
The loudest voices are not always the most representative voices.
Noise does not equal substance.
For every person who chooses prejudice, there are many more who choose compassion.
For every person who tries to close a door, there are others willing to open one.
As Pride Month continues, I find myself reflecting on those people.
In a few short weeks, Pride Month will come to an end. The flags will come down. The social media posts will slow. The calendar will move on.
But for my partner and me, Pride isn't something that exists for one month out of the year.
It's every day.
It's the life we've built together.
It's the challenges we've faced.
It's the strength we've found in one another.
And it's the community that helped us become who we are.
When we encountered discrimination, we also encountered compassion. When we faced obstacles, we found people willing to help remove them. When we needed support, we found it in friends, neighbors, professionals, customers, and community members who chose kindness over judgment.
Those people are the reason we feel safe.
They are the reason we feel supported.
They are the reason we have been able to build a life, a home, and a business that we are proud of.
The people who try to divide us are often the loudest, but they are not the majority. They do not define our communities. They do not define our future. And they certainly do not define us.
Long after Pride Month ends, we will still be here.
We will still be living authentically.
We will still be contributing to our community.
We will still be building our future together.
And when July arrives, you'll still be supporting a veteran-owned business.
You'll also still be supporting an LGBTQ+ owned business.
For that support, for that acceptance, and for the countless people who have shown us kindness throughout the years, we are deeply grateful.
Happy Pride Month.
