11/11/2015
Eagle – The David Thew Story by Cheri Newman & Dean VandenBiesen
David Thew’s arrival into this world was much more difficult than most of us could ever imagine, or for that matter even endure. David’s mother Cheri, a diabetic since early childhood had a feeling that her condition presented additional complications with her pregnancy that would pose a lifetime of challenges for David, herself and her family.
David was born one month prematurely, and to further add to his complications, he and Cheri suffered through a prolonged and difficult delivery. In addition to these complications he was born with a congenital heart defect, a hole between the chambers of his heart. Cheri Newman loved her newborn son as much as any mother possibly could. Birthdays are normally a joyous occasion, but June 30th 1980 marked not only the beginning of David’s life, but also the beginning of a courageous struggle for survival. Ironically, though, 22 years later June 30th would also prove to be the most tragic day of Cheri Newman’s life; on June 30th 2002 David and his girlfriend Carly were both killed in a motorcycle accident.
Though David Thew’s life ended much too early, Cheri set out to make sure that David’s legacy would not be forgotten. Because of his courageous struggle for survival in his early childhood, David developed a deep appreciation of life, and reaching out to help others with their struggles became natural for him.
How is it that both David & Cheri developed such a keen appreciation of life?
From the day of David’s birth, both David and Cheri endured three extremely difficult years. David was so sick for the first three years of his life that it was uncertain whether he would live or die. He needed surgery to fix the hole between the chambers in his heart, but doctors did not want to perform the surgery until David was big enough to survive such a procedure. Cheri was told to feed David anything that he would eat just so that he would gain the much-needed weight to survive his open-heart surgery. Cheri constantly fed David just as the doctors had instructed, but despite her very best efforts he remained constantly sick and weakened from his condition. While in the waiting room of the hospital one day, Cheri recalled at one point looking at David while his father was holding him; David was so skinny that Cheri broke down crying. He looked like he was starving.
It soon became very clear that David’s only hope for survival was open-heart surgery, but with such a delicate procedure Cheri wanted only the very best surgeon to perform the operation. Then one day Cheri & David finally a got a break; Cheri was called before an appointment for David at Miami Children's Hospital and asked if she wouldn’t mind going to Palm Beach to pick up some toys that a woman was donating. Cheri met the woman whose son also had a heart condition. Her son had undergone surgery repairing his ailing heart. The procedure was performed in Boston by Dr. Castanada; one of the best doctors in the world. This woman whom Cheri had never met before arranged to have David’s operation performed by this same surgeon. Apparently her parents donated large amounts of money to Dr. Castanada’s heart clinic at Boston Children's Hospital.
Dr. Castanada had done this surgery so many times he could basically do it blindfolded. Other surgeons learned from those who learned from him. He was the very best.
Dr. Castanada performed the open-heart surgery and successfully repaired David’s heart. Cheri knew immediately that the operation was a success. David looked completely different. For the first time in his young life David was healthy. To Cheri this was nothing less than a miracle; this woman whose name she will never know proved to be David’s guardian angel. When it was uncertain whether David would live or die Cheri described the pain and emotion as unimaginable, now the pain was finally lifted.
Looking back on her and David’s ordeal Cheri realized that somehow David had managed to smile through it all. She looked at photos of David, and there was always that beautiful smile on his face that shined like a bright light. David never seemed to notice that he himself was sick; instead he spent his time at the hospital trying to lift the spirits of other children who were in some cases sicker than himself. Cheri was amazed that she never noticed this before. The stress of David’s illness did not allow her to see it. She finally realized how truly blessed and lucky they were. Their struggle taught them the most valuable lesson they could ever learn; life is so incredibly precious. They learned to appreciate what most of us take for granted. Perhaps this more than anything is what made David so special, rather than feeling sorry for himself David’s natural instinct became helping others who were in pain. This sense of altruism also influenced David’s older sister Kimberly. She studied sign language and became an interpreter for those who could not hear; she dedicated her life to helping others. Cheri describes Kimberly as an exceptional person.
David grew and matured into a tall good-looking teenage boy with an infectious smile, and an athletic build. He excelled at baseball, but doctors forbid David from playing in high school sports because it simply was too risky. A jarring impact could prove fatal to David and his surgically repaired heart. This was very hard on David because all he really wanted was to be just a normal kid. David also was sensitive about the scars that were left behind from his surgeries. He had one scar that wrapped around his body from front to back, and another that ran from his chest down to his stomach. This also set him apart from his classmates. These were things that any teenage boy would struggle with, and probably overcome, but suddenly at age fifteen David was confronted with tragedies that few can ever recover from, especially at such a sensitive time in their life.
David’s father Gary Thew was killed in a plane crash. He was an experienced Ultra Light pilot, and from what witnesses said there was no explanation for, his plane literally dropped straight from the sky.
Then, not even a year later in 1997, lightning literally struck again. The family’s home was struck by lightning and burned to the ground. They lost everything; an event that counselor’s rank along with the death of a loved one on the scale of life’s most traumatic events.
These tragic losses triggered a very difficult period in David’s life, and unfortunately David turned to drugs to help drown the pain and sorrow that so abruptly entered into his life. Cheri recalled that even through David’s lowest point with his drug problems, he never crossed the ethical line of stealing or causing harm to anyone other than himself. Eventually David reached a point where he realized that he needed help to turn his life around.
David voluntarily checked himself into a rehab program. He successfully completed the four-week rehab program and was very proud of himself. There were fellow participants in the program who had smuggled in drugs, but David refused to participate. The counselors who ran the rehabilitation program began to know David as someone who reached out to help others. He gave encouragement and support to the other participants who struggled with drug addiction. The facility known as “Pavillon” ran an extremely challenging four-week program that pushed David to his limits, but as he always did with previous challenges, David emerged from Pavillon much stronger than he ever was before. Everyone that knew David could see that a very special transformation had taken place. His radiant smile was elevated to a new level, and he was more confident than ever.
It seemed like the sky was the limit for David. He was now living a clean drug free life, and at age 21 he planned to move back to Florida from Raleigh, North Carolina. David was ready for a new beginning. He had overcome so many difficulties in his life and seemed stronger than ever.
Before David had a chance to embark on his new journey through life, tragedy struck again for the final time. It was his twenty-second birthday, June 30th, 2002. David and his girl friend Carly just finished birthday dinner with Cheri and her husband Marty at their home in Raleigh. David and Carly rode off on David’s motorcycle toward Carly’s home. Shortly after they rode off, Cheri received a call from the hospital with the news that David had been in an accident. When Cheri arrived at the hospital the chaplain ushered Cheri and Marty into a special room. It had soft chairs and was dimly lit. The chaplain delivered the devastating news; both David and Carly were killed in the motorcycle accident. Cheri slumped into her chair with her head in her hands. The unimaginable pain that she felt years before when David was so sick was now magnified a thousand times; how could this life that they had fought so hard to nurture be taken away so abruptly?
There is no good answer to the question of why he was taken away, but through all of her anguish and pain Cheri wants more than anything for people to know who David was.
Showing remarkable insight at a young age when most young men would never contemplate mortality, David wrote a poem that expressed his feelings about dying.
He named the poem “Eagle.”
Eagle
by David Thew
All I want if I die
Is to fly in the sky
To take a rest in a nest
Then fly from the East to the West
And never be stressed
One of the things that Cheri did to help remember David and to keep him close was to take some of his ashes and have a LifeGem Diamond Created. She had her LifeGem set in a ring that she wears everyday. When Cheri looks at her diamond she can feel David’s presence. She sees the sunshine and the sparkle; it’s as if David is smiling back at her. Cheri’s own personal strength and faith, as well as the support of her loving husband Marty, her loving daughter Kimberly who took three weeks off work when David was killed to be with her are the main reasons she has survived this tragedy, and the LifeGem has provided some comfort. Cheri still cries, but she now has some moments of happiness, rather than constant sadness and pain.
Cheri also took some of David’s ashes and planted a weeping willow tree on the grounds where David completed his rehab. His presence is still felt at the Pavillon Center, where he provided so much positive energy for those on the mend. Those attending the tree planting were awestruck as Cheri placed David’s remains at the base of the tree; it seemed as though there was a sudden flash rising toward the sky and it was as if David’s spirit was released.
Cheri is starting to be able to live again, and is starting to visualize doing things. She is even starting to organize her office, which has always been her nemesis. She is also thinking about going on a cruise. She feels like David is pushing her to do something. The ring and the tree planting were positive steps and now it is time to move on. Cheri also credits her husband Marty who she married when David was eleven, for standing strong with the family through all of the triumphs and tragedies.
