07/04/2025
Just a little giggle along with some good advice!
People of Kaysville,
We know you've already made several trips to Evanston to purchase fireworks that don't quite fit the letter of the law in the state of Utah (don't pretend you thought a firework named Diablo's Thunder Rain of Death was legal here π€¨).
We want you to have a fun holiday weekend with your family, but we also want you to be safe as you set off a majestic light display in the sky thatβs sure to rival Kaysville Cityβs firework show. It would appear that some of you take out a second mortgage to finance your firework display... π§
Before we give you several safety tips to help you avoid hurting life and property this 4th of July season, repeat the following after us:
Brush π fires π and π missing π fingers π are π not π a π sign π of π my π patriotism πΊπΈ
1. Do not let children under the age of 16 handle fireworks. We are aware that some of you are told by your spouse that you act like you're 12, but we can't control that.
2. It's never a good idea to mix adult beverages with things that go boom. Have a designated lighter this 4th.
3. Aerial fireworks should not be obstructed by trees, power lines, or any other overhead obstacles. This includes your face.
4. Store fireworks in a cool, dry place (preferably not in your home, garage, or the Chevy El Camino that hasn't run since your first child was born).
5. Have a water source readily available in case a fire is started. Hoses are better than water bottles.
6. Call 911 for fire and medical emergencies. Do not call 911 to report illegal fireworks or to complain that fireworks are loud. Our friends at Bountiful Dispatch can be reached for non-emergencies at 801-298-6000.
Finally, do not light fireworks in restricted areas (thereβs a map posted in the comments) or near dry grass, brush, or trees.
P.S. We saw all of you putting chairs out on Main Street already for the 4th of July parade. Sinners.