02/27/2026
Are you actually IN LOVE or are you just comfortable with the convenience of your relationship?
Let’s talk about it-
I commonly meet couples, and within just a short amount of time, I can usually assume if their relationship radiates love or just comfort.
Now I know that “comfort” is an important component in any relationship- but is it, alone, worth staying for?
I think familiarity with someone or some circumstances, at times- glues us to it, without the discernment to pursue what may be best intended for us.
Convenience feels easier.
Convenience in a relationship, can be labeled many ways..
Staying because it’s familiar.
Fear of starting over.
Financial security.
Fear of being alone.
Convenience sounds like-
“It works.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“At least I’m not alone.”
But convenience rarely inspires growth. It rarely requires vulnerability. And it often avoids true connection.
Being in love is intentional. Trust me- because some days, we are so drained personally and familiarity can’t compare to the need of being truly seen.
Love is choosing someone — not because they are who is right in front of you, but because you genuinely value them. Love says: “I see you, I honor you, and I choose you.”
We all know, we live in a world of “convenience” - but the truth is, comfort can cost you a lot in the end.
You know what I mean…
I’m more comfortable sitting at home then going to work- but in the end- it would cost me my home, car(s), and amenities.
It’s more convenient hitting the drive through on my way home, but in the end- it could cost me my health.
That can easily be translated by principle - into relationships scenarios.
I’m more comfortable with the guy I’ve been with since high school, there is no spark, but i’m use to it.
In the end- it could cost your kids a broken home.
I’m more comfortable with my wife that’s raised 2 kids with me for 20 years, she cheats, but at-least I’m not alone.
In the end- it will cost you the same or worse isolation in your marriage.
I’m more comfortable with the partner that checks all my boxes, but in the end - it could cost you FIRE, fueled by genuine desire- to fall deeper Inlove with the unchecked boxes BUT with a racing heart beat for the person they describe.
The bible talks about being “equally yoked”. I like to think this lesson, relates to this in the scriptures, in many ways.
Because a biblical marriage is not to be mistaken by a comfortable one.
I genuinely believe God wants us to give and be given TRUE LOVE.
In biblical times, a yoke was a wooden bar placed across two oxen so they could pull a plow together.
If the oxen were: Different sizes, Unequal in strength or Moving at different paces- They would pull unevenly, strain each other, and struggle to move forward.
Paul uses this imagery in 2 Corinthians to explain spiritual alignment, especially in marriage.
Let me tell you-my husband and I, are opposing personalities. But, our love?… is FIRE- fueled by the kind of love that looked over the unchecked boxes.
But most importantly- it stands firm when the yoke is laid across our backs in life.
TOGETHER- We are the same size, same in strength, same speed and we are heading for the SAME finish line.
If the amenities in your life didn’t require your partner… would you still choose them?
Comfort is convenient, until one day, you wake up and it has quietly cost you the kind of love you were actually meant for.
Choose the challenge of the unchecked boxes, there you will find, a love like the one God gifted me.
Maybe even, a love story told and titled like The Notebook.
I don’t think a bird was on my check list… but my love,
“If you’re bird, I’m a bird too”
- Carley Muirhead Dean
