Evil Empire, Inc.

04/11/2026

01/11/2026

It finally occurred to us to create a LinkedIn page.

11/14/2024

Brings an evil tear to our collected eyes.

(No, we did not mean 'collective'.)

Via our parent company Global Tetrahedron CEO Bryce P. Tetraeder:

Today we celebrate a new addition to the Global Tetrahedron LLC family of brands. And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

All told, the decision to acquire InfoWars was an easy one for the Global Tetrahedron executive board.

Founded in 1999 on the heels of the Satanic “panic” and growing steadily ever since, InfoWars has distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses. With a shrewd mix of delusional paranoia and dubious anti-aging nutrition hacks, they strive to make life both scarier and longer for everyone, a commendable goal. They are a true unicorn, capable of simultaneously inspiring public support for billionaires and stoking outrage at an inept federal state that can assassinate JFK but can’t even put a man on the Moon.

Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.

No price would be too high for such a cornucopia of malleable assets and minds. And yet, in a stroke of good fortune, a formidable special interest group has outwitted the hapless owner of InfoWars (a forgettable man with an already-forgotten name) and forced him to sell it at a steep bargain: less than one trillion dollars.

Make no mistake: This is a coup for our company and a well-deserved victory for multinational elites the world over.

What’s next for InfoWars remains a live issue. The excess funds initially allocated for the purchase will be reinvested into our philanthropic efforts that include business school scholarships for promising cult leaders, a charity that donates elections to at-risk third world dictators, and a new pro bono program pairing orphans with stable factory jobs at no cost to the factories.

As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWars warehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal.

All will be revealed in due time. For now, let’s enjoy this win and toast to the continued consolidation of power and capital.

Infinite Growth Forever,

Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO

09/09/2024

"What would your world be, without me?"

If the existence of our Evil Empire could be attributed to anyone outside of family and the game industry, it would be James Earl Jones. There will be countless appreciations and obituaries in the coming days, but Darth Vader and Thulsa Doom would never have been so iconic -- and Star Wars and Conan the Barbarian such classics -- without the timbre of his voice and the range of his performances.

Thank you, Mr. Jones. Rest in peace, and power.

06/20/2024

Our name combined with solicitation emails like this are a constant source of free amusement.

03/17/2023

The world is a little less Evil.

01/03/2023

We have absolutely no problem with your resolutions benefiting us.

07/01/2022

We are pleased to announce changes in our ownership.

FROM THE EVIL OVERLORD:

As of 10:00 AM today, Gwendolyn Reza and Sean Gore have new titles. In addition to continuing as Games of Berkeley's store managers, I now have the great privilege of calling them my business partners, co-owners of Evil Empire, Inc.

Taking this step was no small decision. This company was incorporated by my stepfather Michael Sloan in 1992. That makes this year our 30th anniversary, and in all that time no one outside of our family has been a shareholder. In fact, my tenure as 100% owner spanned only 9 months, from October 2021 until this morning.

I spent the first 20 months of this pandemic working almost exclusively from home. While I "ran the company," it was Gwendolyn and Sean who ran the *business*. Our store's survival as a going concern was borne in large part on the backs of their blood, sweat, and tears. But even before the pandemic, I had relied heavily on their passion, intelligence, and judgement, and the seeds of today's partnership had begun long before the three of us first discussed the idea.

So even though this was no small decision, it wasn't a difficult one either, and I'm looking forward to this new dynamic in our partnership.

Functionally, nothing about Games of Berkeley's operations will change; we'll all continue in our current positions for the foreseeable future. I'll be the boss, and they'll be the boss's bosses, all of us doing our best to keep this place going for another 42 years and beyond.

Erik Bigglestone
Co-Owner

06/25/2022

As a follow-up, for full disclosure:

Evil Empire, Inc. is the California corporation that owns Games of Berkeley. Its current sole shareholder is Erik Bigglestone. The gross profits from yesterday's in-store and website sales totaled $3,086.99. For a small business still struggling through the pandemic that is not an insignificant amount, but the owner and management staff feel the expense is worth any potential downside.

This morning we made a total donation of $3,105.90. That breaks down to a $3,000 base donation, plus $105.90 for the credit card processing fees that would otherwise have to be covered by ARC Southeast itself.

06/20/2022

You should read nothing into the fact that today's Evil Empire board of directors meeting took place at a black powder press.

READ. NOTHING. INTO IT.

03/02/2021

In the interest of transparency:

Evil Empire Inc. recently received a $25,000 California Relief Grant from the State of California, and a $94,780 PPP2 loan from the Small Business Administration.

These were publicly funded sources of assistance, and we are eternally grateful. Thank you.