21/01/2022
I am 26
Still single. Still living with my parents*. Still trying to figure out life.
Isn’t it crazy that at this age, many of our parents were already getting married, more so bringing us to this world?
On the flip side, today, many of us are still struggling to get a hold of ourselves in our late 20s.
Forget getting married or buying a house by 30. I am blessed if I can take care of myself already!
(*Don't get me wrong, it's a real blessing)
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This post reflects my deepest struggle as I am getting closer to 3️⃣0️⃣.
For the longest of time, I find it extremely hard to express my fears & worries in words.
Why?
Because by the norms, the age '30' is such a unique milestone of life.
Getting married. Buying your first property. Being financially stable & well-paid. Having all the answers.
Be it from the norms, social media, or ourselves, I am sure many of us are carrying some form of expectations as we transition towards 30.
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While this may not resonate with everyone, I want to share how I feel as I am getting closer to 30.
In the most direct way possible:
(1) I feel that I am losing out in life.
Many of my peers are getting married, buying their first house and/or car etc.
Look at me, what am I doing here being single, and not achieving anything significant in life so far?
(2) I have never felt so uncertain before.
What if I picked the wrong career path? What if I fail in my pursuit, and have to start all over again at/after 30?
Can I compete with the younger lads by then?
(3) I feel angry.
Why, after putting so much time and effort in my work, I am still not achieving anything significant in life?
Am I missing something? How much more do I have to do before things start to turn in my favor?
(4) I want to do more.
But the more urge that I felt to do more, the less productive I’ve become.
(5) I have to make more.
No joke.
Getting married, buying a house and car, building a family – all of these require money.
How are my peers handling all these life commitments and finances at my age? HOW??
(6) I need more time.
SERIOUSLY. How are the people around me balancing their work, romantic relationship, family, hobbies, and health so well?
It seems like people are balancing life so well (on social media lah, at least).
(7) I am afraid.
Am I going to end my 20s just like this? Normal, insignificant?
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To be honest, I do not have clear answers to any of my worries & fears above*.
And it's funny how I used to think I'd have all the answers and wisdom by this age.
For now, I do what I can within the scope of what I can control:
→ (i) Define what 'turning 30' means for myself.
Not what 'turning 30' means to my parents, some 'successful' influencers, or peers.
Just me. How I see myself by 30.
(*But it feels good to rant a bit!)
→ (ii) Cut my time on social media significantly. (except for work)
How others live their life has nothing to do with mine.
→ (iii) Work towards (i).
→ (iv) Learn to forgive myself (still learning!). Be grateful for every small or big progress in this journey.
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Thanks for reading! 😉
I want to end this post with a quote that resonates really well with me:
"Remember that the minute you take your first step into the life of your dreams, the first to greet you there will be fear.
Nod. Keep walking."
---jaydee💕
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