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Huoma's Dreamz, 20kalio Estate, school road off elelenwo, Port Harcourt (2026)

17/10/2022

Word

Both of you are quite funny.

You only just met three months ago and you are all over each other like bees to honey. No breathing space to even pause and think about your sudden closeness and affection to be sure you are doing the right thing. You are busy rushing the communication and the hangouts as if someone is chasing you to marry.

It's just been a few months. Everything is happening so fast and you've started to call it 'love at first sight'. I laugh at you.

Soon you'll claim you have received your confirmation from God and you're convinced that person is the one.

Why won't that person be the one? Why won't conviction come easy for you when you have already stirred up your emotions and conditioned your heart to see something that's not there.

Let me explain something to you;

A rushed relationship is like spending your pension money while you are still working on the job.

I mean, some of the things that are usually supposed to take up 6-8months of process to solidify and stabilise the ship slowly into maturity, you compress and fit them into 2 months because you are all over each other talking about the sugar in your tea and the cockroach in your cupboard. By the time you know it, you'll be judging the relationship by what it is producing in January, while the true litmus test would have come in April if you were patient enough to take things slow.

This is why such rushians get disappointed when they find out months later that they are with the wrong person, because their convictions was based on their assessment in January when the emotions were too hot, rather than in April when the real test of their feelings would have been exposed.

So you may ask: when is the right time to decide about starting the relationship after you have stayed friends and taken things slow?

It's simple; that stage in your friendship when you are really sure that you have successfully isolated your emotions from your reasoning, to the point where you can make an informed decision without being influenced by your feelings. That's the best time.

15/10/2022

HOW TO FIGHT FAMILIARITY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE.

One reason why most relationships become boring quickly is because of one little comfort zone called "familiarity".

That point where you get too comfortable with your partner that you loose sight of their natural needs as a human being.

That point where you know them too well that you stop trying to learn new things about them.

That point where you can choose not to be nice, and kind, and humble, and respectful because you already know they'll still love you all the same.

It is awesome to get close with your partner to that level where you can completely be yourselves around each other, talk freely, act freely as best friends. In fact, familiarity paves the way for greater intimacy and love between two people, but do not become too familiar with your man that you forget to acknowledge his headship and accord him his respect as a shepherd over you.

Do not become too familiar with your woman that you ignore her feminine side that craves for your attention, affections and care. This is the point where familiarity breeds contempt; when the respect and honour begins to wither.

Here are a few quick tips to help you deal with familiarity in your relationship;

1. Always allow your partner finish before interrupting, especially when the topic of discussion is an important one. Learn how to switch characters, don't do on a serious conversation what you do on a playful one. I'm talking to both parties here, before speaking learn to say "baby can I say something?" Or "Darling can you please listen to my opinion when you're done with yours? It shows respect for your partner, even though the next minute you will start jumping all over each other like two grown babies, but for that moment let your partner know that you haven't lost your respect for them.

2. Watch your words and phrases too. Most times the things we say might come out harmful or funny to you, but your partner might think on it later and find it offensive.

I have never for a day said " morning" to my best friend Chocolate, even as over familiar as we are. It has to be "Good morning love", I don't let our familiarity get in the way of honouring her.

It is good morning, not morning.
It is thanks love, not tnk u.
It is OK baby, not k*k.
It is how are you doing, not hw u.
It is good night, not gnt.
It is I'm sorry, not m sowi.

Your words and phrases are so important guys, don't let the familiarity take away the natural respect you're supposed to have for each other.

We can laugh all day, talk all night, gossip other people as we like, call each other funny names and say our good nights, but in the morning it will be wonderful to get a call or a text from you that says something like " Good morning woman of Virtue" or "Good morning my Priest". Don't let familiarity rob you of the natural needs of your partner.

Say " thank you sir" as much as you say "thanks baby".
Say " you are welcome Sir" as much as you say "you're welcome darling pie". Use yes ma, yes sir as occasionally as you can in your communication with eachother to maintain the respect consciousness.

These are the simple things that drives our relationship and marriage, I hope you will start making the corrections where necessary from this moment?

Do you promise? Or what I'm saying does not concern you.