26/07/2026
DURING NASIR EL-RUFAI TENURE - - -
When Malam Nasir El-Rufai was governor of Kaduna, there was a blogger. Let’s call him Nagya.
Nagya woke up every morning with two things: cold water, and hot takes.
From 6am to 11pm, his job was one thing only: call El-Rufai a thief on Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp status, even on his rice.
El-Rufai saw it. Didn’t arrest him. Didn’t block him.
He just did what any governor with data and patience would do: he found the man’s number.
THE CALL---📞📞📞📞🤙
El-Rufai: Salam Alaikum. Good morning.
Blogger: Wa Alaikum Salam... who’s this please?
El-Rufai: This is Nasir Ahmad El-Rufai.
Blogger: O- Oga! Good morning Your Excellency!!! 🙇♂️
El-Rufai: Good morning my brother. I’ve been reading all your posts. About the funds. About the "misappropriation".
Blogger: Ehn... sir, it’s not what you think sir...
El-Rufai: Relax. It’s leadership. Come make we talk tomorrow at Government House. 10am. No wahala. I no go bite.
Blogger: No problem sir. Insha Allah.
El-Rufai: You coming with car or bike? So security go clear you.
Blogger: I go enter Keke sir.
El-Rufai: Send me the plate number when you’re on the way.
THE DAY - - - - - 😁😁😁😁😁
9am. Nagya hires Keke for ₦500. Full chest. Government House dey wait.
Gate security: "Oga, park here."
ADC: "Follow me sir."
Inside the office, El-Rufai looks up and smiles.
El-Rufai: You don pay the Keke man?
Blogger: Not yet sir.
El-Rufai opens drawer. Brings out envelope. Thick one.
El-Rufai: Here’s ₦250,000. Go settle him and come back.
Nagya’s heart: _Baba God._
On his way down, he opens it. Sees plenty notes. Thinks: "If I take 5k now, who go know?"
He pockets the envelope inside his boxer. Gives the Keke man 5k. Keke man sings praise: "Allah ya saka da alkhairi oga!"
What Nagya didn’t know: CCTV dey everywhere. El-Rufai dey watch like Netflix.
Blogger comes back, chest still out.
El-Rufai: Make we go down small.
Downstairs, the same Keke is waiting