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I read books while drinking coffee, Hongdae Street, Seoul (2026)

03/10/2021

I didn't remember how I lost my favorite pen,
black HBW.

Maybe somewhere I misplaced it, I put it on someone's book that I borrowed.
Maybe I let my friend borrowed it and never returned.
Maybe It didn't already work and runs out of ink so I throw it out of anger or
I don't know.

I didn't remember how I lost my favorite slipper, blue spartan.

Maybe it flows somewhere on a river where I always took my bath and got home barefooted.
Maybe somewhere I visited on someone's house and someone took it away thinking it was their for it looks similar.
Maybe I used it on a game called 'tumbang preso' or I used to throw it when we stole a mango on our neighbor/elementary school and someone sees us so we have to run reason for it to leave behind or
I don't know.

I didn't remember how I lost my favorite friend, Cecilia.

Maybe in school when were elementary I/my room don't have a teacher and I got home early I didn't wait for her so she got mad.
Maybe on our house while watching TV she's always lost on a game 'guess the commercial title' and that she was pi**ed and got home instead.
Maybe I didn't let her join the car wash team back then or
I really don't know.

but
on a sunny day
June 31, 2005 on the road waiting for a bus,
you bid goodbye.
Saying you'll look for work for our better future.
Weeks,
months,
years, and
decades.
You didn't come home until we found out you already had your family.
You're happy,
contented,
living with no worries.
While we're miserable,
sad and
alone
longing for a loving parent.

For all my favorite things and person that I forgotten on how the hell I lost them.

But,
on that sunny day on a year 2005 on June 31st I clearly and vividly remember how I lost you,

mom.

Picture ©

30/01/2021

You're everything that's bad for me.

But-- gotta admit

I. I kinda miss our cigarette kisses while we're angry in this fu**ed up world.

II. I kinda miss the drinking alcohol while driving, opening the window car and fancy cursing people that's on the road.

III. I kinda miss the stolen ma*****na that your parents got in their drawer for us to get high because we want to forget how ruin, sad and lonely the world is. Just for a day, a day.

IV. I kinda miss the make out of love we made every night and-me waking up without you and-you forgetting all about it when the sun and morning comes.

V. I kinda miss the insane prank you got on me making-those-couple-broke-up because me pretending-to-be-the-so-called-girlfriend-of-the-boy-doing-kinda-angry-act-that-he-cheated-on-me. That was cool tho, im sorry. 🤭

VI. I kinda miss the you-and-me our kind of not-so-romantic-love-story but just-destructiveness before it got you-and-her the kind of happily-ever-after love story you've got with her just like what fairytales have.

VII. I kinda miss you, the whole you, im craving for you, your presence your existence your--- EVERYTHING but i ain't selfish tho your sun has shone, your favorite black turns into white, the black hole in you turn into constellation, you deserve the happiness that has in store in this world for you and not just the destructiveness we've got and the s*x kinda unromantic sceneries in a boring drama you scaped.

and before this roman numerals end, lastly

VIII. I kinda miss you but it's not just you it's also for me to be atleast happy because I also deserve to be happy I deserve the morning coffee that my man will offer after our romantic s*x, the kinda sweetest word i-love-you you don't even bother said when there was an us, the classic music and not the rock i actually cringed to listen to.

Yes i miss you, i miss you no more. 🥀

pcttro 💓

29/01/2021

I'm at the stage of my life where i just wanted to be very quiet.

Weird but I don't even like being with my family, don't get me wrong I love them, I really do.
It just that, I would love to have a distance with everyone including them and just be with them if I wanted to. I'm just a naturally distant person who requires a lot of alone time in order to function properly I don't want my family to keep that personally.

I would love to live on my own, my own home. Be my own company, live with no worries.

I would love to spend my weeks on work which is I love to do, that one that don't require alot of talk, where im an invisible and don't get enough responsibility to worry about. Because call me weak but I hate responsibilities it's pressuring me.

I would love to go on a walk on sunday buy some groceries and the rest do nothing but just cooked for myself, drink coffee, read books, wrote something like this, study, give my most time to take a bath and not being pressured if there's someone is waiting, or just lay in bed all day listening to music.

Repeat.

Address

Hongdae Street
Seoul

Telephone

+639153892274

Website

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I read books while drinking coffee