19/08/2026
+++BELLUM EST INFERNUM
+++DECEMBER 1941
+++THE ADVENTURES OF THE BUFFALONIAN
+++WAR, LOVE AND SACRIFICE
+++MISSION ES**RT
Following the publication of the Buffalonian a novel of war, love and sacrifice I had to honour this A.I. drivel based on the GOAT Brewster Buffalo.
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
THE GOOD SIDE
Lt. Daniel ‘Buffalonian’ Mercer USAAF (5)
Squadron Leader Peter Caldwell RAF the steady RAF commander burdened by impossible decisions (4)
Flight Lt. Bill Haskle RAAF the Australian haunted by survival (3)
Welshman Pilot Officer Arthur Price RAF (3)
Lt. Pieter Van Dijk NEIAF the precise Dutchman who sees danger before it closes (3)
Pilot Officer Hargreaves (2)
Mei Lin the girl from Chong Pang
THE BADDIES
Lieutenant Junior Grade Ping (5)
Warrant Officer Pang (4)
Leading Private Pong (3)
others.
The cyclone coughed smoke before erupting into a deep thunderous growl. Mercer watched the oil pressure gauge stabilize, felt the vibration through the sear and into his ribs. The Bombers were long and lean, Ki-21 Sally bombers.
The bombers were closing in on their targets, and it was up to Buffalonian Mercer to stop them. Guarding the bombers were Nakajima Ki-43 Oscars.
The Caldwell gave the word. “Red Section…engage!” Mercer managed to dive past the es**rt pursuit planes and struck one of the enemies, however the pilot held his place.
Squadron Leader Peter Caldwell RAF brought the other half of the Buffaloes to the rear of the enemy bombers, ready to pounce on them.
The Buffalonian managed to get to the rear of one of the Sallies and took out one engine,
his thoughts turned to Mei Lin’s and the first words she said to him “My name is Mai Lin, are you hungry.” When he looked at her, she seemed to understand more than most people managed after a dozen questions. It wasn’t simply her beauty, though she was beautiful, nor any single detail he could have immediately named.
The Buffalonian used his Ladiesman skill, but failed. Not that it mattered, there were no women present. Caldwell’s men were closing in and managed to damage another bomber.
Next turn started with The Buffalonian bringing down a Sally.
“But don’t borrow tomorrow’s pain before the truth has arrived”
Now it was the hour of the Bloody Dragonflies. The Oscars dived in and raked the Brewsters scoring hits but didn’t manage to take any down.
Lieutenant Junior Grade Ping called on the radio:
Hello, Pang! Hello, Pong!
Since the fateful gong awakens the palace
and awakens the city,
we are ready for any event
To which Warrant Officer Pang replied:
I have a house in Honan
with my beloved orchard
and a crimson pond
surrounded by bamboo!
Now the battle turned to a swinging melee with both sides scoring hits, the cumulative damage against the Brewsters broke their morale, yet none were brought down.
The last decisive action was then Lt. Pieter Van Dijk NEIAF brought down the second Sally. It’s pilot sent a last message:
E io la mia residenza
a Tsiang
con laghi d'argento
e donne, quante ne voglio,
e un cimitero avito
dove riposerò!
Why he spoke Italian we will never know.
The final action was when the disadvantaged Squadron Leader Peter Caldwell RAF the steady RAF commander burdened by impossible decisions decided to risk it all to bring down the last wounded duck but alas failed to hit.
RESULT: Buttalonian win but was there ever any doubt?
Ok.
That was actually surprising fun. DO NOT BUY THE A.I. BOOK. But I used the sample chapters offered on Amazon to augment the text, that as well as Puccini’s opera Turandot.
I hope you enjoyed the read!