Village Idiot

Village Idiot A unique blend of organic cotton & recycled jokes! Quality merch that celebrates your locality. Based in Surrey. Sold online. Worn everywhere. Www.villiageidiot.uk

The Cobham t-shirt!The name Cobham derives from an unusual, traditional sandwich made in the village by slicing a corn o...
19/02/2026

The Cobham t-shirt!
The name Cobham derives from an unusual, traditional sandwich made in the village by slicing a corn on the cob in two, and stuffing the middle with a type of luncheon meat, which was often used as a form of currency in the early 1700s before Monzo. Whilst crunchy, the Cob-Ham was poor nutritionally and 'Cobhams' are no longer accepted as a form of payment in the high street retailers, except in Farrants on a bank holiday.

Find out more about the fascinating history of Cobham and the ridiculous merch that celebrates it at:
https://village-idiot.teemill.com/collection/cobham/

What features of would you like to see Cobham Mummies?

The   Squareabout has had a makeover!Those strong, defined lines, powerful markings and gently curving edges all work to...
19/02/2026

The Squareabout has had a makeover!
Those strong, defined lines, powerful markings and gently curving edges all work together to make this the epitomy of majesty and functionality..
Are we talking about the t-shirt, the squareabout itself or Tarquin our t-shirt model?

(We're not sure either)

To celebrate the National Swan Centre in Leatherhead, Village Idiot has launched a new design that has shaken the establ...
14/12/2025

To celebrate the National Swan Centre in Leatherhead, Village Idiot has launched a new design that has shaken the established fashion houses of Paris and Milan.
Order one for someone you love, or simply like enough to buy them a t-shirt, especially if they give you the money.
https://villageidiot.uk
🎁 Last Christmas post: 21st UK

The new   tee has dropped!Here expertly modelled by Adam, famed for his modelling debut in the Freemans catalogue autumn...
03/12/2025

The new tee has dropped!
Here expertly modelled by Adam, famed for his modelling debut in the Freemans catalogue autumn collection of Batman pyjamas, 1988.
Like a rose between two thorns..
Fetcham really is the fruity jam in the and sandwich.

Get yours for Christmas at villageidiot.uk

Apparently there's a lot of real estate opportunities in Little Bookham. Would it be so very bad if Great Bookham did a ...
22/09/2025

Apparently there's a lot of real estate opportunities in Little Bookham. Would it be so very bad if Great Bookham did a very good deal to take over Little Bookham and make it great again?
The founder of the MLBGA movement said: "I think it could become the Riviera of Surrey, that's what they're saying. I'm not saying I agree and I don't agree that I disagree, but I agree that I don't disagree that I agree, and I think that's very clear."
Shop now at Village idiot to show that you believe in the democratic freedoms of free peach.

Father's Day is on the way...This isn't the perfect gift.That would involve other things.But darn it, this is a pretty g...
06/05/2025

Father's Day is on the way...
This isn't the perfect gift.
That would involve other things.

But darn it, this is a pretty good option and boy does it have style?
(Rhetorical question. No need to comment)
Expect everyone in your village to want to hug your dad when he swaggers down your local high street adorned in this drip.
- Quality local merch.
- Organic cotton.
- Recycled jokes.
Buy 'ere https://village-idiot.teemill.com/collection/mens/

Fetcham is in for a treat!A new organic cotton t-shirt celebrating Fetcham has launched just in time for Paris fashion w...
18/03/2025

Fetcham is in for a treat!
A new organic cotton t-shirt celebrating Fetcham has launched just in time for Paris fashion week!
(Next year) ( because it was last week, which was an oversight, and trust me someone will be been spoken to).

So what's this much anticipated t-shirt all about?

Fetcham village dates back roughly 2.5 million years as one of the earliest Paleolithic settlements known to exist in Europe*!

*As a result of Brexit that status has been revised to be one of the earliest settlements known to exist in Britain, Anguilla and Montserrat.

Early humans living in the area had minimal language, and so used to instruct each other with simple words that conveyed both what to do and where to do it.

For example nearby 'Fetchwater' was the local well where they would fetch their water.

'Fetchwood' was their woodland source of timber.

'Fetcham' was the place where ham and pork products such as sausage rolls could be hunted and gathered. Today that area has been developed into William Dyer's pie shop.

Of interest, 'Fetchwoman' was a nearby nightclub frequented by the men of the village, but all that remains of that settlement now is modern day Leatherhead.

The same charming simplicity amongst villagers of knowing their mind, what to do and where to do it is still evident in 21st Century Fetcham. For example when one of the locals needs to Fetchmilk, the parking spaces along the high street allow for easy reversing across both lanes of traffic and double parking is welcomed if there are no spaces conveniently outside Sainsbury's, even if there are spaces further up.

No one minds because life has carried on much this way since sliced bread, and before that, when the best thing since sliced bread was..

If you love this quirky little village, you need to get yourself one of these t-shirts, do it!
But don't just do it (that's a t-shirt slogan that would never catch on)
Fetch it!
But don't just Fetch it - LOVE Fetcham it!
It will LOVE you back with the warm embrace of soft organic cotton and parking wherever you want it x.

Fetchshirt: https://village-idiot.teemill.com/collection/fetcham

Mother's Day is nigh - Get her the t-shirt of her dreams!Or.. get this one from Village Idiot:https://village-idiot.teem...
12/03/2025

Mother's Day is nigh - Get her the t-shirt of her dreams!
Or.. get this one from Village Idiot:
https://village-idiot.teemill.com/collection/bookham

"BOOKHAM? My husband chose to move here!"

Ok you said that at first, but now, aren't you glad you did?
Since you moved in you've discovered Bookham's hidden treasures, like..

A UNESCO world heritage site called 'The SquareAbout' which features working ruins of an ancient civilisation's attempt to ambush and trap local villagers by rendering them dazed and in a state of confusion.

A high street which stays open until 4pm, meaning you can get what you need whenever you need it, until 4pm.

A Coop with both a front door and a back door. (But don't queue at the back door checkouts, they are rarely opened)

So whether you wear this organic cotton t-shirt in defiance, in gratitude, or in Debra's for one last time before you donate it.... wear it like you own it (because you do).

We believe arms dealers should be put under a vest.That includes you, hench henchman, dealing out those arms of yours in...
21/02/2025

We believe arms dealers should be put under a vest.

That includes you, hench henchman, dealing out those arms of yours in the gym.

We can't think of a similar pun for legs, which is why we only make a vest for the upper body, not the lower body.

On leg days, you're going to be stuck with nothing decent to wear.

We don't do leggings bro.

You're still reading? OK, um, to make a statement on the lower body try wearing a kilt* to your workout, because literally no one else does that.

Or just skip leg day, everyone else does that.
In vest in your next vest at https://village-idiot.teemill.com/product/under-avest-vest/

*Not advised for pilates.

Or group cycle.

Or bums and tums.

Or mums and bums and tums.

Or buns and bums and bantams.

When they look at you, you can tell they're thinking it...
15/12/2024

When they look at you, you can tell they're thinking it...

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Leatherhead
KT22 9

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