19/09/2022
It wasn’t until I was signing the book of condolences that it dawned on me…
I have never met the Queen and she certainly didn’t know who I was…but she WAS a part of my life!
I am not a royalist, I don’t dislike the family…but I certainly don’t avidly follow them like a TV soap. When the Queen passed away, I knew that this was history in the making, but it didn’t really hit me emotionally. It has obviously been all over the news, social media and on people’s lips. I have listened and absorbed it all…even learning things in the process. I was sad for her family, because no matter her title…she was someone’s Mum, Grandma, owner…etc.
But, it still didn’t hit me emotionally.
Until last week! As I was walking through the churchyard with my mother-in-law, she went in the church to sign the book of condolences and I waited with Kendal, my 12 year old Westie…then we swapped over. I don’t know if it was the sombre ambience of the tall, hollow church, the handwritten messages in the book or the portrait of Her Majesty on the table…
But, it hit me!
Her face looks back at me every time someone pays with a banknote.
Her voice spoke to our family every Christmas.
Her title was sung during every big event I have been to.
The Queen had been a part of my life since the day I was born…and now she has gone! Loss is something I have struggled with in the past and something I’ve been learning to process. This year, I have seen losses in different ways…
I had to say goodbye to the house that I had called home for 8 years, where my children grew up.
I then watched as my kids say goodbye to their friends.
Leaving my Grandad’s not knowing if he would recognise my face the next time I saw him.
The closure of Clayton has hit me hard, my silence about it has been deafening.
Today, I have shed tears. Not as a royalist, but as someone saying goodbye.
It will have been a difficult day for so many people for so many different reasons. So, however you have spent today, here is a big virtual hug from me to you...just in case you need one! x