13/03/2025
An eerie silence greeted him as he got into the apartment, he headed for the shower and went to sleep thinking she is probably out, upset. It was for the best, he wasn’t up for yet another argument. The decision he is making is for best and he need not worry about it. Plus his parents would not accept it, he just finished school and started in the family business. He then closed his eyes and drifted into a deep sleep. A cold wind coming through the window woke him up, he looked at the bedside clock , it was 12 midnight and there was still no sign from of Botho. He stumbled to the window and closed it and took out his phone to call her. It wasn’t going through which was weird because she didn’t leave any message, she always leave a message. He checked her last seen on WhatsApp, it was the time they were together. He sighed and muttered to himself “ talk about drama.” He then went to sleep hoping she’d be back by morning.
Botho had spent the day pondering about what she was going to tell her mother and decided rather to just keep it to herself. She had never in her life thought she’d be in such a compromising situation. Guess she has to soldier on and go on, one way or the other. “ Hey nana, I managed to get the money you asked for. Can we meet at the mall in half an hour?” She said in a phone call. Botho headed to the mall as agreed where she met her younger sister Naledi. “ Thank you so much, I don’t know what I could have done with you,” Naledi said with tears welling in her big round eyes. Botho smiled and hugged her sister dearly as they parted ways. She dared not to disappoint her family members although she already has.
6 in the morning his phone buzzing woke him up. Was never a morning person, Botho is. He had missed a few calls from an unknown number and had a bunch on Facebook notifications and messages. “ Ke trenda kae,” he said opening his cell to see why his phone was blowing up, moreover this early. As soon as he opened his Facebook, he froze and started to shake. Dropped his phone and jumped out of bed as the words kept on replaying in his head in a loop. A YOUNG LIFE LOST, plastered on the school newsletter with Botho’s picture. He could not believe his eyes, he grabbed his phone and called her number over and over again. No response. Reality struck, he quickly checked the closest, all of her belongings were gone as if she never lived there except for a book she left by the closet floor. He took it up and rustled through the pages hoping to atleast find something that would make sense not all that online gibberish. A small and folded paper fell out. Legae quickly opened it and noticed Botho’s beautiful hand writing.
“Love takes and takes, it never gives. Surely there has to be a bargain. But no, it’s one sided and unfair. We give out so much of ourselves that we fail to recover from the loss when disappointed or hurt. When you finally topple out of balance you have absolutely nothing of yourself to hold you or to fall back on. Instead it’s the cold, course and harsh ground that greets me with open arms. Where is love when you so much desperately need? Nowhere to be found. Instead it’s you getting more and more hurt. Trust and hope are just two fancy words people use to trick you into thinking what the future entails for you, when in actual fact you already know what you are and always has been. Who am I trying to fool, me happy!? Even the birds mock me. Some people are not meant to be happy, look at me! I am my mother’s child. Blabbering away has always been my escape, not now.
Regards, Botho.”
And that was it. All she left before she slit her wrist and bled out in the school bathroom. As he stood there motionless, Legae finally realized the gravity of his actions, only it was a day late and no longer helpful.
