04/18/2026
Back in Kentucky, some of you might remember the very dedicated little armadillo I had working as my business card holder. “Wannie” Cute, reliable… never once asked for a raise.
When I moved to Florida, he tagged along. Then one day… p**f. Gone. After years of no sightings, we figured he’d relocated to Silver Springs to hang out with his fellow armadillos and sip whatever armadillos sip.
Fast forward to this week—guess who waltzes back into town like nothing happened? No explanation, no apology… and now he’s working for my competition.
Oh, and he’s rebranded. Goes by “Arlie” now. Black cowboy hat, starred hat band—looking like he just dropped a country album.
So… is he really out here pretending we never met? I feel so deceived.
That armadillo didn’t just leave—he took his talents to the competition like a tiny, armored traitor.
After everything I did for him… steady work, public exposure, a whole career in business cards… and this is how he repays me? No goodbye, no explanation—just shows up in that cowboy hat like he’s got a whole new life and I’m just a chapter he skipped over.
If you happen to spot him over at R. Lee Wanamaker’s, go ahead and mention my name… see if it jogs his memory—or if “Arlie” suddenly develops selective amnesia.
