06/15/2026
A sweet friend of ours and fellow foster parent said it well in this post a few years ago and it’s worth a reshare!
Over two years ago, I drove away from a mom's last visit with her kids after her rights were terminated, and I gripped this in my hand, fighting back tears because it was sugar free. It felt like too little, too late, but it felt like SOMETHING.
Because I'd sat in a court room for hours while they analyzed her worth as a mom, and found her not good enough. And I listened to them tell her sometimes her kids threw up after visits because of the massive amounts of sugar she'd let them consume - one time in particular, it was bright pink to match the almost empty package of pink wafer cookies her son carried out in his little hands.
Of course, it was just an example of much deeper problems - years of failing to protect her kids, failing to listen to advice, failing to seek out therapies for their complicated needs, years of being complacent to the point of neglect. But they told her about the sugar. And here she was trying to address a molehill dwarfed by a mountain. But she was trying.
All throughout the case, I'd told my husband I was so glad I didn't have to make the decisions that determined the fate of their family. How do you decide if someone is good enough? What if she had a little more time, what if she got away from all the toxic people, what if her past justified a little bit of the present? What if, what if, what if? But decisions had to made and consequences rendered. That's the job of a judge.
And that drink I held was something, but it wasn't enough, wasn't everything.
And maybe, there's a little bit of gospel in that. Because sometimes, my good deeds must look like sugar free flavored water to God. He's PERFECTION, and I will always fall short of that.
Sometimes I serve just to serve, and I remember that when I give even my right hand shouldn't know what my left is doing, but sometimes, I kiiiiiinda want my right hand and all of Facebook to know. Sometimes I post blogs about being content in Jesus the day before complaining to my husband about our outdated cabinets. Sometimes I take a Bible reading plan from church in January and don't get through January before the year is over. Sometimes I don't move my head to the side so the homeless person doesn't think I'm choosing to drive past intentionally. Sometimes I gossip or yell like a psycho at my kids. Sometimes I'm greedy, impatient, selfish, ungrateful, prideful and a million other things.
And all my good deeds suddenly look like something, but not enough, not everything.
So what if God had to make a decision on my worth as a follower of Christ? Would I compare myself to Ted Bundy or Billy Graham? If my time as a believe was way shorter than my time as an non-believer, would I get a pro-rated case? Would I be allowed to justify my mistakes? Would "but I brought healthy snacks" seem sufficient when faced with the glory of God? How would I ever know if I was good enough?
But He makes it easy - He tells me I'm most definitely not. But Jesus was, and God let him take my consequences, and all I have to do is say I get that and I accept that. I think sometimes we complicate grace, but there's a lot of beauty and freedom in knowing He's enough. For me, for that mom I drove away from, for all of us offering sugar free grape flavored water to the giver of living water.
Thanks Kasey Gonzalez ❤️
