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09/08/2022

B’’H

I once heard someone tell this amazing story that happened about thirty years ago in Jerusalem. A young Jewish couple had gotten engaged and it was customary on the groom's side that his wealthy grandmother would buy the engagement rings for all of the family's brides.

The young bride was a bit embarrassed by the large size of the diamond and she found it uncomfortable to wear since it weighed heavily on her finger. However, her parents encouraged her to get used to it and not to hurt anyone's feelings.

The couple got married and a few months later they were invited to a family event at the home of one of the groom's cousins. His cousin gasped when she noticed that the young bride wasn’t wearing her engagement ring.

The cousin shrieked and in a loud voice said, “Where is your ring?”

Suddenly there was a lot of commotion and the young bride explained that she had unfortunately misplaced the ring but was confident that it would turn up over the next few days. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months and the ring was still missing. In the meantime, the bride was too embarrassed and ashamed to go out to any other family events because of all the criticism about how negligent she was in losing such an expensive ring.

A few days later, her sweet husband apologized profusely to her. “You see my darling wife, it was all my fault that you had to endure my family’s ridicule about losing your engagement ring. He went on, when I finally remembered to pick up my wedding suit from the drycleaners after all this time, I hadn’t counted on finding your diamond engagement ring in one of the pockets of my suit. You must have given it to me to carry for you and I completely forgot about it.”

The wife accepted her husband's apology and was so happy it was found. However, she demanded that he tell everyone from his family, especially his grandmother how it was his negligence, and not hers, which he happily agreed to.

Fifteen years and seven children later, shortly after his grandmother’s passing, the wife requested permission from her husband to trade in the old diamond ring for a new one.

She went to his grandma’s favorite jewelry store and did window shopping.

Approached by the owner, she removed her ring and showed it to him asking him to appraise it, and inquired if he would be willing to buy it back so that she could use the money towards a ring that was more her style. The Jeweler examined the ring and relayed to her that the ring was very nice and that it was worth a lot of money however, he questioned her for wanting him to buy it back since the ring was not from his shop.

The wife surprised by his words reminded the Jeweler who her husband's grandmother was, and how she had purchased all of the family’s jewelry from him for the past thirty years. The Jeweler smiled and surely remembered the lovely wealthy client, however, he insisted that this particular ring was not from his shop as all of his jewelry had a type of hidden signature that this piece was lacking. However, he would be willing to pay a good sum of money for the heavy diamond ring.

The woman took the ring back and told the Jeweler that she needed a few days to consider the offer.

She went home and looked for the original certificate of the diamond ring. Buried under years of important documents she finally found what she was searching for. Just as she had suspected, the date was six months after she was already married. Her husband had felt so bad for her for not only losing her diamond ring but for the constant criticism of losing it, that he went out and purchased an exact replica and took all the blame for misplacing the ring when in fact she was the one who had truly lost his grandmother’s gift of the heavy diamond ring.

She no longer had any desire to sell the ring. Her husband’s sacrifice and utmost devotion to making her happy was the only thing she saw when looking at the ring.

This week’s Parsha, Ki Teitzei (Seventy-four of the Torah’s 613 commandments (mitzvot) are in the Parshah of Ki Teitzei) speaks about what happens when a Jewish soldier goes off to war and finds an attractive female captive and wants to marry her. The Torah goes on to explain under what process and conditions he may marry her.

Chasidus explains that the Torah understands the natural desire for something new. Something new brings with it an excitement that the human psyche is constantly searching for. Knowing that this particular new thing may very well not be healthy. The soldier must follow a process that will remove this excitement for this captive by having him wait thirty days before being allowed to marry her. Then he will be able to make a well-informed decision and not an emotional one.

In relationships, it is important to not allow your connections to fall into a dull routine. The worst thing one can do is get into a type of lifeless, passive relationship with a spouse. That is why one should be constantly working hard to learn new things about their spouse and to nurture, expand and dedicate oneself to enriching the relationship in order to make it everlasting and perpetual love.

This is also the main point of Rosh Hashanah. It is a time for introspection and a time to examine one’s relationship with Hashem and to make a renewed commitment to taking the relationship to a higher plateau. A new commitment that will lead to a higher level of devotion and Dvekus (attachment.) It will also create an unbreakable bond that didn't exist until now.

Have a wonderful Shabbos.

Yitzchok Friedman

03/15/2022

B”H

Having Skin In The Game!

It was June 1950 and in a jam-packed synagogue in Israel on a Shabbos morning, there was going to be a special event, unlike any other event this community had ever experienced. A sweet young orphaned boy named Yisrael, who had survived the holocaust, was celebrating his Bar Mitzvah today.

He had spent many months rehearsing the Torah reading. Time and time again he went over it until he had the exact tones and the pitch just the way his teacher had taught him.

It was time for him to start and suddenly Moishe, the regular Baal Koreh (Torah reader) came in. Moishe had his Tallis on and was headed to the Bima as he did each week. The gabbai (a synagogue official) stopped Moishe and said, “There’s a Bar Mitzvah this week weren't you informed? You are not reading, Yisrael is reading today!

Moishe, an elderly man started fuming! “For years I have read the Torah here. I spent all week preparing. No one told me about the Bar Mitzvah! I never take any money for my services, I demand to read the Torah!”

The people in the synagogue were all curious as to what all the commotion was about near the Torah, when suddenly young Yisrael looked up at Moishe handed him the Tallis and said, “ Moishe, I am young and yes I also prepared for the Torah reading however, because of my youth and with G-ds help I will have many more years to read from the Torah. Here take the Tallis and you read today and he climbed down from the Bima.

Little Yisrael turned out to be correct about his predictions because he grew up to read the Torah many times and speak the words of the Torah in front of thousands of people worldwide since he became the Chief Rabbi of Israel Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau.

These past ten days Jews throughout the world sacrificed their comforts to help their Ukrainian Jewish Brethren. Emergency flight missions and many other evacuation and rescue missions have been taking place. Jews sacrificed their comforts to make room for the Jews and other Ukrainian people that are now homeless. Millions of dollars in donations have poured in worldwide to make sure that each refugee knows that they are not alone in their struggles.

That as one nation we do not turn a blind eye to our brothers in need. As Natan Sharansky, (An Israeli politician and human rights activist) said so eloquently last week, “When I was growing up in Russia Jews did whatever we could to remove the word Jew from our official documents, now the nations are doing whatever they can to get the word Jew put on to their documents to get some of the world support that we are providing.”

This week's Parsha talks about the sacrifices that are made in the temple. Do we really think that Hashem needs our animals? The answer is that the only way for us to reach our potential and to build a healthy relationship with our inner core is through sacrifice.

On college campuses, they have these fraternities that the only way to get into them is to pledge a particular fraternity; a sort of hazing ritual to show your dedication to the fraternity.

In the business world, you can only raise money from other investors if you have what is called ‘’Skin in the game.” This means that unless you are putting in some of your own hard-earned money into this investment don't ask me for mine.

Sacrifice proves the authenticity of a trusting loving relationship like nothing else. Go ask two army veterans who risked their lives for each other in the war, if they have any closer friends in the world.

So Hashem says to the Jewish people: I gave you plenty of abundance in the world because I want to be close to you. If you want to be close to me sacrifice something close to you, for me.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Yitzchok Friedman

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02/24/2022

B”H

The big news was splashed all over the small city of Larnaca Cyprus. After months of speculation, the world-famous Radisson Hotel chain had decided to add a new Radisson Blu to their international collection.

Everyone in the city was excited because such a big project meant many opportunities for the local business owners.

One of the key people involved in this new development was, Marios Polyviou, CEO of Sunnyseeker Hotels Ltd. It just so happened that at noon that very day I had scheduled one of our regular monthly meetings to discuss our Kosher Hotel venture partnership.

When I arrived at the meeting, I found Marios beaming with pride. This was a huge accomplishment for him and his company and he could barely contain his excitement.

I immediately congratulated him on his company’s latest achievement and we began to talk about the complexities of the deal. He told me that although he could fill a room with the number of contracts that had to be signed, they still had to be scrupulously studied thoroughly by both sides.

However, there was one rule in the contract that almost broke the deal. He explained to me that the Radisson Hotel Group limits them to only purchasing specific items from specific international suppliers.

This is done so that there will be a feeling of comfort in its consistency and that the guest's expectations will be met. The type of guests that stay in the Radisson are primarily business travelers and they do not like any surprises. Every detail in the design and furnish of the Hotel must be an exact replica of the Raddison hotel model.

He saw that I was fascinated by this concept. I asked him if this concept applies as well to the food in the hotel restaurants.

“No! No! No! He replied we are going to have the highest level of Greek food, created by the best Greek chefs we can get.

“You see the guests want the general structure of the buildings and the rooms to be completely identical worldwide. Once that trust is established, the guests want to have a uniquely Greek experience that they have never had before.

The combination of the guest is comfortable and trusting the Radisson environment allows them to accentuate their travel experience by trying something new and exciting.

This year is a Jewish leap year. This means that we will add another month of Adar so that our solar calendar and our lunar calendar will stay aligned.

The question is asked if the Jewish people use the lunar calendar for all our holidays why do we create a leap year to align with the solar calendar as well? We should be like the Muslims that celebrate their holidays only according to the lunar calendar.

Chasidus explains that it is not the Divine's intent to make us physically suffer in our service. Hashem decided to take the Jews out of Egypt in the spring season since that is the best weather to travel in. Same as for Sukkot, when we are asked to sit outside when the cold and rainy season has not yet begun.

Chasidus goes on to explain more deeply that the Sun represents consistency. It shines the same way day in and out. This steadiness creates a feeling of trust and reliance. No matter how hard your day is, there is comfort in knowing that the Sun will rise again tomorrow and bring with it a fresh new start.

This is also expressed in our Parsha this week as we discuss the קרבן התמיד. The daily offerings that are constant and never changing no matter what day it is, no matter what happens that day, provide very special happiness to the Divine.

The Moon on the other hand is constantly changing. This represents action, change, and emotions. Without the Moon, life would be extremely monotone. The Moon brings us the ability to have special events at certain times that give us a feeling of excitement. This allows us to plan our holidays on specific dates in which the Positive impact of the Moonlight enhances our holiday experience.

When we live our lives in service to the divine in a structured way of routine and discipline, we have the advantage of developing a foundation and a vessel to attract G-ds infinite light.

Then when we add feelings of passion, happiness, and awe within that structured world, our positive impact affects the world in an infinitely deeper way.

Have a wonderful Shabbos.

Yitzchok Friedman

02/13/2022

The Infinite Value Of Unselfish Joy

B’’H

It was a little bit past midnight on a cold February night a decade ago, when it happened. I was sitting in my heated car dozing off waiting for my wife to come back from a very important meeting.

My wife was part of a special team put together by Rabbi Yosef Zvi Rimon to help the Ethiopian Jewish community find employment. The team had organized a special event in the city of Rechovot, whereby the leaders of the Ethiopian community would have an opportunity to share in an open dialogue and learn vital information and have better insights into the Ethiopian culture.

Once they could get a clearer picture of the challenges that the community was facing; then they would work on building a customized employment program better suited to their needs, which would enable them to get back into the workforce.

Many employment programs were trying to force their existing programs onto this community with little success and my wife knew that the only way to help them was to dig deeper in order to understand them better and work with them as brothers and or sisters helping one another.

The reason I was sitting in the car waiting was that unknown to anyone else at the time, my wife had already gone into the early stages of labor. The plan was that if the baby was planning an earlier arrival, my wife would excuse herself and I would drive her directly to the hospital.

My wife came back from the meeting and updated me on all the important information that she had learned and the ideas that were flowing from all directions of what could be done to help them.

As a side note thank heavens, she managed to complete the long intense, however highly enlightened meeting, and a few hours later we welcomed our daughter Hadar, into the world.

After spending a lot of time and energy, my wife found a gifted project manager by the name of Michal that was passionate about assisting the Jewish Ethiopian population with employment.

Together they started working on a unique educational program that would enable Ethiopian girls to become nurses.

Fast forward ten years later. My wife came running over to me excited and elated with happiness and joy, “You’re not going to believe this. The president of Israel has just selected Michal to be awarded for her work in creating a whole new pathway of employment for the Ethiopian community!”

In this week’s Parsha, פרשת תצוה Hashem tells Moshe that his brother Aaron will be appointed to the highest position in the priesthood. He will be the only one of the Jewish nation that will be allowed to go into the holiest place on the holiest day.

Moshe is elated with the news of his brother's appointment. Chasidus explains that Aaron earned this position because he was not jealous of his younger brother Moshe, becoming leader of the Jewish people and he too was sincerely happy for Moshe to have been chosen for his exalted position.

Chasidus goes on to explain that we should learn from this every time we hear the good news about a friend’s success. We have two choices either to be naturally jealous or to fight that green-eyed monster off and admit that whoever they are, their success is well deserved.

When you are able to accomplish this; it will open up a whole new channel for you to succeed in your life as well.

In addition, when we look at the world as a 7.9 billion piece orchestra all playing a beautiful piece of music, we will understand that our friend's success only enables the song that we are all singing to sound so much better.

Have a wonderful Shabbos.

Yitzchok Friedman

02/03/2022

B’’H

There was a time in my life that I was flying so often, that when people would ask me where I lived I would answer in jest, seat 23A which was my preferred airplane seat.

However, in truth, it takes a lot to create a true feeling of a home. In the real estate world, a few of the essential things you are taught is that when someone is trying to sell their house, they should bake something fresh in the oven, and have fresh cut flowers around so that a potential buyer can easily envision a place where they would want to live. In essence by showing that your house is not just a physical structure but a home full of life happiness and joy you elevate your property's value.

What is your definition of a home?

A home in my opinion is a place that radiates warmth, unconditional love, shared happy memories, and a place that makes you feel comfortable to be who you are.

It’s where you love to create new memories and a sanctuary that all of your family and friends are drawn to.

When I would fly to the States on business, I had many good friends and family who would open their homes to me all across the country.

During these trips, I spent a lot of time getting to know these people on a much deeper level and built-up relationships with their families as well.

One specific family went way out of their way to make me feel so welcome; with their warmth and trust, that was off the charts.

They even gave me access to the house so I could come and go at any time of the day or night.

I spent many happy times showing their children pictures of my children and then when I would return to Israel, I’d show my children, pictures of them.

Even when I thought I had come to the conclusion they had mastered the art of hospitality, one day they managed to outdo themselves by jumping to the head of the line to a whole new level of friendship.

The family realized that it was the right time to build a much bigger house to better suit their needs since their family had grown and expanded a lot.

My friends were extremely involved in planning every detail of the house down to make sure that it covered every single thing that they could think of.

One morning the blueprints of the house were spread open on the kitchen table and they called me over to show me something. When I leaned over to look at the plans, I saw something that caught my eye, and it became forever imprinted in my memory.

While planning a section of the new house, they had built into the plans an extremely luxurious guest room, and engraved into the plans were the words Yitz's room.

The commandment to be hospitable had become imbued into their family that it became the foundation to their future home.

In this week’s Parsha, Parshas תרומה Hashem asks his children to chip in together and build a Mishkan, (tabernacle) a resting place for the Devine Spirit to dwell inside of. The Mishkan was built in the desert and eventually was transferred into the Bais Hamikdash King Solomon built.

The words used to explain the reason for erecting the Mishkan are ושכונתי בתוכם.

There are a few questions. First, why collect all the money from the people? If Hashem knew that he would want to build a Mishkan he could have appointed Moshe to have someone collect some spoils from the red sea and put it on the side for funds for this structure?

Another question is why it says ושכונתי בתוכם which implies so that I can dwell inside of them. Shouldn’t it have used a word that would imply with them or amongst them?

Besides the laws of the physical actual structure of the tabernacle and all of its vessels, Chasidus explains this desire of dwelling inside of us as a step-by-step process. Hashem first asks that each Jew make a contribution so that they will have a personal investment and connection to my sanctuary.

The sacrifice of his funds will create an opening for Me to dwell in that space. The more space a Jew clears away his own personal desires, the more space is available for the Divine to dwell within him. This process will elevate the physical body into a holy being.

When the divine spirit is clearly visible inside of him it will naturally create a warm and loving and holy environment that will be shared with his spouse and children. This will continue to grow until everyone living in the house is imbued with a glowing inner light that will transcend the physical house to a sacred warm and loving divine home.

Finally, when each Jew connects with his or her inner core and manages to accomplish this through proper divine service this will cause a type of devotional enriching cosmic effect so that the entire globe will be filled with light and recognition of Hashem’s oneness.

Have a wonderful Shabbos

Yitzchok Friedman

12/16/2021

B``H

Most orthodox Jews try to educate their children in the purest of environments as possible. They send their boys to a boys-only school where they are totally absorbed in learning Torah and other studies. The school’s hallways are decorated with pictures of the Holy Sages with the aim of imbuing the students with the goals, ambitions, and lifestyles of these important and holy men.

The teachers are handpicked by the administration for not only having superior educational backgrounds but for also leading exemplary lifestyles, which personifies what is taught in the Torah.



Then one day, the Jewish community was rocked by a devastating event; when they happened to drop their kids off at school and encountered an awfully immoral and licentious electronic billboard ad directly across from the entrance of the religious school. One member of the community was driving by the school and was shocked and outraged by the insensitivity of the choice of content by the advertising company and decided to call them immediately. His plans were to advertise something very important in this specific advertising space. The advertising company tried to persuade him into taking a different location since this space had just been rented. This Jew was obviously not interested in any other space since his only reason to advertise here was to remove this promiscuous ad for as long as possible. After tough negotiations, the Jew struck a deal with the advertising company that for ninety thousand dollars the old advertisement would come down and his new advertisement would replace it.



What the advertising company didn’t know was that this was the only money that this Jew had in his savings account. While the advertising company was negotiating what they thought was just another competitor for a hot advertising location, his counterpart was involved with an internal struggle.

Part of him was screaming to himself, What are you nuts? You know how hard you worked to save this money. Why do you have to be the hero? Let someone rich do something worthwhile with his money. And another part of him was reassuring himself that this is an action that he was put on Earth for; that he now has an opportunity to bring light into a place of darkness. Replace dirt with purity.



If he saw the problem and thought of a solution, then this must be the important part of his journey in the world. In the end, he had decided that he was going to sacrifice his entire savings for the sake of helping to retain the purity of the children.



That evening, he received a phone call from the advertising company asking him to send in his replacement advertisement immediately. The man was racking his brain what to do. He had never given any thought as to what to replace it with since he had just been focused on removing the offending advertisement. Perhaps he should place an advertisement for his own company or maybe something religiously inspiring. The tired salesman asked him to please hurry up, because at one thousand dollars a day, the clock is ticking!

Suddenly it hit him! He said the magic words, “The clock is ticking!

I want you to put a daily countdown of 90, 89, 88, … until the days run out!”

So, the next day at the corner of the busy intersection the electronic billboard lit up and read TODAY IS DAY 90! And so, this went on counting down day after day!



After a while, the local news picked up the story as well. People were all trying to guess what the countdown was all about. Everyone had their own opinion; thus theories were being discussed in every office, home, and coffee shop in the area.



Local politicians were all sure that this was part of some hidden agenda of the other side. Activists were seizing the opportunity to tell their story through the countdown, however, no one could prove a reliable source to substantiate their stories. The commotion of the countdown kept growing and growing each day. People started to drive by this specific location just to see for themselves what everyone was talking about.



When the publisher of a national news company, The Jewish Advertiser, called for the inside scoop, he was told, “I am sorry, it’s top secret!”

This only fueled the mystery of the countdown billboard’s story and forced it to go viral. Now the entire city was talking about the countdown billboard that was slowly coming to its dramatic conclusion.



With four days left, the Jewish man was approached by someone from Coca-Cola.

The man said, “We heard about your count down and we want it. We really don’t care what you wanted to do on day one, but we want day one for Coca-Cola. We want two huge Coca-Cola bottles to electronically explode on the screen. We don’t think that whatever you were planning with this ingenious advertising scheme can make a payoff as much as we have to offer you.”



At the end of the negotiations and when all of the agreements were signed with Coca-Cola, the Jewish man found himself giving his empty savings account information to a Coca-Cola representative for the incoming transfer of three million dollars.





In this week’s Parsha Parsha`s ויחי Yaakov is preparing himself to depart from this world. The commentaries tell us that he wished to reveal to his children when the exile will finally end and when the final redemption will come. Then, Yaakov seemingly changes his mind and goes ahead and blesses each one of his children. There are many commentaries that offer their opinion of what exactly transpired there.



Chasidus explains that each Jewish soul has a piece of Mashiach (Messiah) inside of him. Each challenge that a Jew faces has an opportunity to reveal the Divine. A revelation of light can only emerge from darkness. The purpose of pain is to enjoy pleasure. Without Exile, there is no Redemption.



Yaakov was telling his children that the Mashiach is the combination of all the revelations of all the Jewish people of all the generations and that each one of us will be able to point to our personal story and see how it played an important part in the massive revelation that is soon coming. What Yaakov was saying is, the purpose of every difficult challenge is really an opportunity in disguise to shine your personal light in the world of darkness.



Look at the exile, not as a negative thing without value, but as a background for you to write your story of growth and success. Then Yaakov blesses each one of his children so that they will have the courage and the strength to overcome their challenges and reveal their individual light to the world.

Have a wonderful shabbos!

Yitzchok Friedman