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BRET’s Bottom Feeder—“I want it to be matte black, like my heart.”“You really think your heart is matte? I’m pretty sure...
01/20/2023

BRET’s Bottom Feeder
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“I want it to be matte black, like my heart.”
“You really think your heart is matte? I’m pretty sure it’s smooth and glossy and glistening with wet blood.”
“You know what I mean—“
“Also, it’d be red, not black, I reckon.”
“Just make me the pot. 🙄”
This is one of many conversations I’ve had in my head with people. It’s not always about pottery, the conversations aren’t always with BRET, but my head can get pretty chatty.
Anyway, BRET wanted a matte black pot… like his heart. 🖤
Price: BRET will probably hand it over for some decent pizza.
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Kim’s Butter Bell—As we close out 2022 at Trash Wheel™️, we share one of two butter bells (French butter dishes) that we...
12/30/2022

Kim’s Butter Bell
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As we close out 2022 at Trash Wheel™️, we share one of two butter bells (French butter dishes) that we made this year (and one of 3 butter dishes total).
This seems to be a strong indicator that people love their butter, butter let’s take a closer look. You see, if someone truly loved butter, wouldn’t they just down in by the block? It would have no time between the fridge to their gullet to be placed on a dish!
But a butter bell is designed to create an airlock with water, to retain the freshness and coolness of your soft butter. This is designed for someone who just isn’t eating that much butter.
And that person is my friend Kim! Eat more butter, Kim! 🫑
Price: Good luck prying it from Kim’s cold, dead hands (her hands aren’t cold and she’s not dead, I’m saying she’ll take it to her grave).
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Palayok ii —They say bigger is better, but I know some small, petty men who claim that’s not true. However, in this case...
11/04/2022

Palayok ii
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They say bigger is better, but I know some small, petty men who claim that’s not true. However, in this case, it is. Sorry, my jockey friends.
The first palayok (traditional Filipino pot) I made was too small to make even an individual serving of adobo, but this one could probably feed two!
Now to just find a tita and some banana leaves and we will have a feast! 🦤
Price: free lechon for a year!
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Macrevase i —A journey of 1,000 miles of cord starts with a single knot. - anonymous This is the first in a series of ex...
09/16/2022

Macrevase i
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A journey of 1,000 miles of cord starts with a single knot. - anonymous
This is the first in a series of exploratory Macravase™️ designs which might even be able to be ordered for Christmas!
I like this one, it’s simple with that boho chic flair. I’m hip! I’m modern! I’m cool!
This is the perfect vessel for your aloe plant that you use medicinally. 🎍
Price: TBA, but probably some joke about armpit hair on hippies.
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Hanging Macravase —Everyone I’ve ever met loves macrame. They’re obsessed! Everyone is like, what else would one use str...
09/09/2022

Hanging Macravase
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Everyone I’ve ever met loves macrame. They’re obsessed! Everyone is like, what else would one use string for?!
For some reason, no one has ever considered building the macrame right into the hanging pot! It’s always two separate pieces, which seem redundant to me.
So here it is, the official Hanging Macravase (one of many Macravase™️ designs coming soon)! 🐚
Price: $40 - 3 available. 1st buyer gets pothos too!
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Edamame Bowl ii—This bowl was designed for edamame, which is obvious if you can read. The beans go in the middle part an...
08/26/2022

Edamame Bowl ii
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This bowl was designed for edamame, which is obvious if you can read. The beans go in the middle part and the empty husks are discarded in that outer ledge.
Sure, you could put pistachios in the bowl and put the shells in the ledge. Yeah, you could put ice-cream in the bowl and use the ledge as a spoon rest. Absolutely, you could make a Greek salad in the bowl and use the ledge for the black olives and red onions that you don’t like.
But this bowl wasn’t made for that! It’s an edamame bowl! Get all that other stuff away from it! It’s specially made for only one purpose!
To be honest, I shoulda made the ledge bigger, it’s hard to fit all the husks on it. 🥜
Price: 64.5 ¥ or taking me for AYCE sushi thrice.
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Medium Fruit Bowl —This bowl is the perfect size for a heap of kiwis or small apples! You could fill it with, probably, ...
08/19/2022

Medium Fruit Bowl
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This bowl is the perfect size for a heap of kiwis or small apples! You could fill it with, probably, too many grapes, easily! But try to put a watermelon in this thing and, frankly, it’s just too small.
I struggled with calling this a fruit bowl because it’s not inclusive to all the fruits. It’s a fruit bowl for fruit of a certain size. If the bowl isn’t big enough for all the fruits, don’t say it’s a bowl for any fruit.
Sure, ball up a melon and it’ll look good heaped in this bowl, but why should the melon have to change to suit this small dish?!
It just makes me so mad to see the exclusion and, frankly, fruit bigotr— 🥑
Price: trade for Navajo blanket
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Milk Jug Vase—Do you ever see a bunch of wild flow’rs and just think to yourself, “them needs to git into a medium size ...
08/12/2022

Milk Jug Vase
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Do you ever see a bunch of wild flow’rs and just think to yourself, “them needs to git into a medium size vase what looks vaguely like a retro milk bottle.”?
If you do, you should work on your grammar a bit. There’s no reason for a grown adult to speak that way.
It’s crazy to think that you have to pay for store bought, farmed flow’rs, but wild flow’rs can be picked for free out of cracks in the pavement. Isn’t there more value in beauty that has bested the elements, fought to stay alive, been resilient through it all?
I’m just saying, it took me two tries to make this, so it’s worth whatever I say it’s worth. It’s been through hardships!! 🥛
Price: strong bones with wild flow’rs growing through them
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Scream Dishes—I eat too much ice-cream. “You can’t eat too much ice-cream!” Fair enough, but I get excited and put too m...
08/03/2022

Scream Dishes
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I eat too much ice-cream.
“You can’t eat too much ice-cream!”
Fair enough, but I get excited and put too much ice-cream in a bowl and then can’t finish it. I do! But then I feel bloated.
There’s also a race against the clock to finish the ice-cream before I’m stuck with half a bowl of sweet creamy soup. This, of course, always results in 3-4 attacks of brain freeze.
These dishes were made to solve all that. Cone shaped, so I have to use a little spoon (no big spoonfuls to freeze my noggin). Small enough to hold the perfect amount of ice-cream. And cute, so I feel cute eating my ice-cream.
That’s the best way to control yourself, get a product to do it. Don’t bother working on your character or anything, force yourself to do better with a dish. A dish that, frankly, still holds a bit too much ice-cream if you go past the rim with the scoops. 🍦
Price: A lifetime supply of Tiger Tail
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Stupid Mugs 4/4: Big Mouth—Open wide... for basically a shot glass worth of coffee. This mug would make a terrific candl...
03/21/2022

Stupid Mugs 4/4: Big Mouth
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Open wide... for basically a shot glass worth of coffee.
This mug would make a terrific candle holder, but as a mug it’s pretty stupid. If you filled it to the brim, it still wouldn’t hold very much liquid and you’d have a hard time picking it up as the handle loop would be in your beverage and burn your finger.
It’s just stupid. I don’t know why I made this kind of crap. 👒
Price: who would want something so stupid?
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Stupid Mugs 3/4: Lippy Cup—Don’t get lippy with me, young man! Too late. This penultimate (a word people use just to sou...
03/14/2022

Stupid Mugs 3/4: Lippy Cup
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Don’t get lippy with me, young man!
Too late.
This penultimate (a word people use just to sound smart, I’m pretty sure) mug is the Stupid Mug series looks pretty smart (like the word penultimate) at first glance, but look closer and you’ll notice something pretty stupid.
The rim of the thing folds in drastically, inconveniently. How are liquids supposed to get out of this stupid mug? You’ll be tipping your head all the way back by the end of your hot chocolate! Stupid! 🦢
Price: $50 a pop at the chiropractor
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Stupid Mug 2/4: Mean Mug—Now, I’ve heard of mean mugging, but this is stupid! I threw a perfectly sensible mug on my Tra...
03/07/2022

Stupid Mug 2/4: Mean Mug
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Now, I’ve heard of mean mugging, but this is stupid!
I threw a perfectly sensible mug on my Trash Wheel™️ and then took the time to ruin it by cutting jagged points all over it. Not only would this stupid mug cut your mouth, but the spikes in the base are also holes, so it won’t even hold liquid.
This is one of the stupidest mugs you’ll ever see/feel. 🦔
Price: 45,000 shekels
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