12/31/2025
Life happened.
Life happens every day.
But
Death happens.
Death happens every day.
I’m back, but not fully.
I want to create…but sometimes I loose the connection, ability, desire, spark, drive, confidence, whatever you want to call it. Sometimes it’s caused by the seasons, sometimes it’s caused by my environment, sometimes it’s just present for no apparent reason. This time it was multiple reasons. 2 tragedies resulting in death creating the most unimaginable grief I have ever experienced in my entire life. Not just for myself but for those I hold very close to my heart, for my family, for my kids, for other kids, for people I didnt even think I could feel sorry for (iykyk). I felt it all, I still do as I lay here typing this. Not to compare a dog to a human life…but then our dog died. The dog my littles dont know life without. The dog that watched and waited for them daily, that kept us safe, that plopped her head on your lap when you needed it most. Add in the seasonal change after getting blow after blow after blow and ive just been getting my ass beat the last few months. It’s hard to get out of bed some days. The holidays didnt feel like they should have and everythings just been a haze. I never meant to be gone this long, depression hits and sometimes it hits more than once and it takes everything you have to keep your head above water.
I’ve changed, I’m sure you have too since we’ve last seen each other or connected. If you’re here, I’m happy you’re seeing this and glad youve kept your head above the water too. ❤️