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Ink and thought

Writing is the ultimate outlet for the artistic mind

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09/03/2024

While going through my Snapchat memories on my day off, I bechance upon a video from 6 years ago. A trip to Victoria with my roommates and homestay guardian. I was an 18-year-old girl who had just moved abroad! Exploring a new country and waiting for new life experiences, I entered Victoria starry eyed. Living in the small town of Comox Valley, the drive down to the capital of British Columbia was a big deal. An epic realization of the difference between small town and city life.

I read somewhere that if a city attracts you and beckons you, it is because there is someone in the city who you’re supposed to meet. Or that your story in that city is already written! And here we are- 6 years from that day, now I work at the historic Empress hotel that I had once seen from the window seat of my guardians car. The people I’ve met, the memories I’ve made in this city are fuel to the blazing fire that is my life abroad.

And with every passing year, I grow fonder of the charm and mystique of Victoria. ✨💫

08/09/2024

What is freedom?

A cab driver that dropped me home from work at midnight thinks that being in control of your time is real freedom. Not being chained to a 9-5 job, to work according to your own schedule and freewill defines freedom for him. To not be caught up in the western society's "American Dream" scheme. And enjoy every minute of your life is freedom for him.

The young woman in me thinks to myself that freedom is being able to work late at night and not have my family worried for my safety. To live on my own terms, and to choose to work the same 9-5 rut that might not leave me until death, is freedom.

It's a different kind of freedom for women who work in the west. Not chained to the dreams of their parents; living a new norm of singlehood in their late twenties that their mothers could not.

What is your definition of freedom?

06/21/2024

Life Goes On So Fast
But I’m Glad for the Memories that Last.

One day you’re sitting in a psychology class with your best friend from grade 11 and the next you know you’re oceans away from her. Now you see her monthly on a video call, reminiscing life 9 years ago.

Wondering how time flies by, and life goes on so fast.
But the memories they always last.

Memories of moving abroad at 18;
Of buying your first car with friends who would become family for a brief time- teaching you things that can only be taught by Time.

A tale as old as this rhyme-
you study, work, build connections, lose friends, move town, make new friends, lose them again, find love, get heartbroken, get sad, get depressed, travel, explore, learn and work some more, study again, see your friends graduate and get married, some of them have kids now!

And all of a sudden 7 years have passed by, and you’re not that 18 year old anymore. About to hit quarter life crisis. You wonder where and when did Time outrun you?

Catching up with all those years takes mere moments of reflection on a Friday night.

Until realization dawns that Time only stops when you make some time for yourself. To think; reflect, ponder and plan your future that will surely surpass the past. Casting a net of plenty memories happy and sad that will last.

All because Life Goes On So Fast.

03/30/2024

The Last Cup of Hot Cocoa ☕️

It was a quiet spring eve,
Couples walking hand in hand,
A Pomeranian delighted by a daisy on the land,
The universe was trying to deceive,

For what was to come was never seen,
A bond of 18 months,
Wherein the Ace of Hearts trumps,
Stuck in a situation where neither of us had been,

We were the only ones sitting outside,
An empty patio spare for our solemn sight,
We sat in silence which did not feel right,
Words would have been worse on the downside,

A moment felt like an hour,
Memories of us flashing in my mind like a lighthouse,
Whose caretaker no longer wishes to tend to the house,
We try and find something to scour,

Landing on our cup of hot cocoa,
We take a sip and hold in our tears,
Talks of not wanting to be controlled by our fears,
Love was always sharing a cup of hot cocoa,

Not this time,
Not this cup,
We’re out of luck,
We’re out of rhyme,

This ends tonight,
But we will be alright,
Maybe in another lifetime,
You and I would have been fine.

07/31/2022

The side view mirror of my car
Shows me things that are afar
Like a beautiful sunset embracing the mountain
Or a historical house with cannons and a fountain
Passing me by like time
Growing over me like thyme

Meadows of green with horses and cows
Small towns with stories of the here and now
A truck decal cursing the prime minister
A hitchhiker who looks rather sinister.

It all comes down to the long, windy, countryside road,
Rolling down my car’s window as the windy eve forebode
Every drive becomes a lesson
Every lesson a tale
Every tale has its time
While time never followed a rhyme.

(This photo had been sitting in my drafts for far too long. So here is a musing that almost loses its meaning by the end. But something is better than nothing right?

TLDR: got tired of waiting for inspiration to write so ended up penning an incomplete musing this time. )

06/06/2022

The Women In My Life

“I have been r***d thrice,”
I was too stunned to react,
“My dad made it seem that I was at fault,
Since I was out partying and drunk”;

“The guy who r***d me is a free man,
Might live with subliminal guilt and no scars,
But every time I think about my past I shiver,
Little things act as a trigger,”

“Men can never be your friends”
A girl friend told me once
“You might see him as your friend
But you never know how he sees you,”

The male gaze is different
Than the female craze
A man- objectifies, s*xualizes and trivializes
Objectifies her body
Sexualizes her soul
Trivializes her ideas
A woman- obsesses, dreams and desires
Obsesses over a Prince Charming
Dreams of finding The One
Desires to be cherished as the only girl in the world.

We claim to be woke,
Talking of consent
While snorting coke,
A time of feministic ferment
A rant that is more of a lament.

Vulnerability is not a female asset
It casts a formidable silhouette
Of the ghosts of our future
And traumas of our past
You never know how long this phase shall last.

The world is changing
Equality is ranging
But She stops and looks back
Wondering if there is something we still lack.

P.S.- this musing is a personal rant that helped me process my chaotic thoughts into words. I feel mentally at peace now that I’ve written this piece.

P.P.S.- do not come at me about NOT ALL MEN AND NOT ALL WOMEN. This is an opinion piece and I will not argue with you about your thoughts and biases.

05/18/2022

Sukoon (सुकून)

On days when my heart feels heavy,
And my mind wanders in the abyss of empty thoughts,
I search for a semblance of solace,
A silent prayer to my God.

I’ve never been one to preach,
But the effect of this ritual I shall teach

I find some oil to light a golden lamp that my mother lent me a while back;
And memories of a southern town in India come crawling to my mind

This town is home to my mum and her parents
However, I never found my way around here
These tiny streets with unpaved roads
Ancestral houses and worship homes

But at dusk when we sat in the verandah
There was silence and a golden light
From the big lamp that nani had put outside
I got used to calling this house, home in fact.

I remember witnessing magic up here;
Tiny specks of gold shimmering in the trees
Fireflies and crickets became our lullabies
Now repressed memories in the cave of my mind.

The calming smell of sandalwood
As the incense burns my woe’s
Brings me back to my apartment room
Miles away from what I used to call home

I find a sense of calm,
In the unknown.

04/15/2022

You know you’re home,
When you see the great blue mountains capped with snow.
Like the sky embracing the water.
Or a father paddle boarding with his daughter.
Children learning to sail,
While the sun sparkles it’s trail,
On the mighty deep blue,
We find calmness to be a hue.
The forest and trees with their green,
Beckoning us to learn to be seen.
I’m 22 going on 12,
In my youth I often delve,
Answers to questions unknown
Actions to find atone.
I’ve found peace at home.

-Manmitha Deepthi

.and.writers

11/19/2021

Growing up, I’ve always felt out of place.
Even when at home.
Having South Indian genes in my body that grew up in Gujarat.
Not speaking either language correctly,
For blatantly disregarding grammar in Gujarati and phonetics in Malayalam.
I’ve grown to embrace both the cultures; be it Navratri or Onam, Khandvi or Idli.

So when someone asks me where am I from? What shall I say?
My mind says Gujarat; but my heart says Kerala.

It’s a conundrum I drown in occasionally. Before I end up saying India.

And then try to avoid the next question of where in India? Because believe it or not there are more cultures within India than outside. With this multicultural country comes multiple stereotypes associated with it. And it is nothing more than stereotypes- untrue assumptions of a particular community; for all the Indians I met were astonishingly friendly. Finding them in a foreign land made us learn new values from our differences.

Moving to a new country at eighteen has undoubtedly broadened my social skills. Living in an island miles away from my own blood and kin. Learning new traditions and decorating Christmas trees.

I think I find home in the people I meet.
Not the places that I’ve lived.
I find home in the goat curry my Bengali friend cooks; I find home in watching Bollywood movies with my Canadian parents; I find home in the concerned voices of my grandparents on a long distance call; I find home in people who put my heart at ease and make my eyes smile.

I think Cecelia Ahern rightly said “home is not a place; it’s a feeling”.

So where or who is home for you?

08/13/2021

People’s Mindset

I wish- I honestly wish
That I could change
Someone’s mindset for the better

A friend rants about her aunt
Being hypocritical and it boils my blood
To hear old women let young girls down

“These girls when they go abroad…
All they want is a boyfriend”
My friend reasons with her aunt
Subtly hinting at her grandsons scandal

He was underage and involved in things-
Rumour had it;
He got a girl pregnant
But they buried the secret in quicksand

To every girls chagrin
The aunt justified her grandson
“He is young and can have fun”

The double standards reek of patriarchy
When a girl dates more than one guy-
She’s labelled a w***e; slt shamed and shunned.

This other time I had a friend
Talking to me about Indian men in Canada
They want to find a RN to get married to
A girl who earns well.

Not for herself but for him
To fulfil his dreams-
Build his house
With Dowry.

The biggest evil that still wanders
Like a tormented soul
Hunting for its next innocent body
That might not always be strong enough
To survive

“You’ve given her too much independence”
She’s skydiving, partying in boats”
“Is she spending her mother’s-
Hard earned money or her own?”

Why should you care?
Oh wait, that’s what Indian relatives do.
They “CARE’;
More like ‘How dare!’

How dare she enjoy her life
At such a young age!
She should be bound by rules
Chained to the society’s views.

She is Me.
She is your daughter; your sister.
She is a foetus in that lady’s womb.
And she is scared.
She is judged- all the time.

Let her live her life- in her own world.
And be happy: if she breaks free
From the shackles of this sick society.
That is but only a man’s world.

07/08/2021

Dear Tapsee Pannu,

I remember watching you on the big screen right before my board exams. You caused an eerie air of discomfort in the theater. When my friends and I were on the brink of becoming feminists, watching your movie “Pink”. I recall a couple making out on the corner seats beside us but that wasn’t as disturbing as the trial in the movie. The grim reality of being shamed because you’re a woman of ‘questionable character’ walking alone at night, drinking and partying with your friends so late. In a sensually revealing tight dress. Beware, for they don’t teach consent when it comes to s*x. Two words dripping in taboo that they were never taught in school let alone addressed in a conversation without making people feel uncomfortable. And now we keep wondering why r**e cases are abound. It has to be the modern woman’s fault. Right?

I then saw you in “Thappad” and realized how deeply ingrained marital abuse is in our society. That my friends aunt found the narrative so distastefully repelling, she claimed to have been a victim of abuse worse than a slap. She dismissed the movie as problems of the millennial generation that leaves everything at the first, smallest inconvenience. Staunchly believing that a marriage works on compromise. Living in a world where love is equated to the hurt a person inflicts upon you. What a toxic world will that be I wonder. To fall in love with your abuser.

And now Haseen Dilruba caught my interest. I won’t lie, I was terrified while watching this movie. To see how cruelly you burned your hand and fell from the stairs only to see the sadist husband of yours grin at your pain. Adultery or not, violence should never be glorified. Not in love. I strongly believe that when John Lyly said “everything’s fair in love and war” he created chaos from his belief that now became a common misused adage.

In the end your movies did teach me two lifelong lessons.
1. Fighting for myself and
2. Realizing when to let go of a toxic relationship.

Address

1701 Government Street
Victoria, BC
V8W 1Z4

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Website

http://www.liveandlearnforever.weebly.com/

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