http://www.playnourishthrive.com.au/

Play Nourish Thrive, Sydney (2026)

08/09/2022

Are you a 'cycle-breaker'? ...and is it worth being one?

Carousel text:

What is a Cycle-Breaker?

'A cycle-breaker is somebody who sees an unhealthy cycle of behavior in their family of origin [...] and intentionally works to break that cycle'
- Sarah Epstein, LMFT

Examples
Family patterns or behaviours you may wish to break:
🔴Physical, emotional, or psychological abuse
🟠Addiction or substance use
🟡Struggling to handle big feelings like anger, overwhelm, and sadness
🟢Passive aggression or overt aggression

Examples cont.
🔵Disordered eating, chronic dieting, or eating disorders
🟣Value of achievement above all other things
⚫️Physical punishment for children
⚪️Enmeshment or disengagement

Research tells us...

The results of a longitudinal study of 454 parents & their 697 offspring found that breaking the cycle of maltreatment buffers offspring from risk of psychopathology.

Is it worth it?

Cycle-breaking involves both deep introspective work & intentional behavioural change.

And you may need support from a therapist as you navigate it!

However, research shows that cycle-breaking (if relevant) is beneficial for children.
Sources: Epstein 2022. Accessed 7.09.22 from www.psychologytoday.com; Islam. et al. 2022. Child Maltreatment. doi: 10.1177/10775595211067205

02/09/2022

Did you experience these feelings as a new mum?

Carousel text: 4 unexpected (but normal) feelings in new motherhood

Matrescence

The psychological birth of a mother, like adolescence, this is a time of hormonal fluctuation, body morphing and identity shifting
- Alexandra Sacks M.D.

01 Ambivalence

Feeling like motherhood is not good or bad – it’s both

02 Identity shift

Grieving your old identity and getting used to who you are now as a mother

03 Changing dynamics

Re-experiencing your own childhood, & adjustments to your relationships

04 Reality vs fantasy

Coming to terms with what you imagined motherhood to be like vs how it really is
Source: Sacks, Alexandra. "The Birth of a Mother," The New York Times, May 8, 2017.

26/08/2022

Have you experienced judgement for how you fed/feed your baby?💁‍♀️

Carousel text: Shame if you do - shame if you don't: Infant feeding & mothers’ experience of stigma

🪙Two sides of the same coin

Both mothers who breastfeed and those who formula feed report experiencing judgement from health professionals and within the community. This judgement leads to feelings of failure, inadequacy and isolation.

More specifically...

👩‍🍼Formula feeding stigma

A 2016 UK study investigated the emotional and practical experiences of 890 mothers who used formula to feed their baby. They found a high percentage of these mothers experienced negative emotions, including guilt (67%), stigma (68%), and the need to defend their decision (76%) to use formula.

🤱Breastfeeding stigma

A 2015 international study of 63 mothers who did or did not breastfeed found mothers felt ‘marginalised and ashamed’ when they breastfeed in public, and that many new mothers are put off breastfeeding by negative comments. Mothers reported being stared at or tutted at; others reported wanting to breastfeed after 12 months but feared public disapproval.

A false dichotomy

Contextualising how mothers feed their babies as a binary issue, as best or worst, as right or wrong, only serves to deepen the divide between mothers, increase guilt and shame, and reduce agency.

Mothers are 'uniquely qualified to decide whether exclusive breastfeeding, mixed feeding or formula feeding is optimal for her and her infant.'.

24/08/2022

Were you humbled by parenthood?

Carousel text: 'It must be my fault': Untangling Parenting & Ego

'[Motherhood] takes your ego and throws it high into the air, then catches it and slams it down onto the ground hard' - Rebecca Eanes

Parenthood is humbling

We are taught from a young age that if we work hard enough, we can achieve anything.

Any success or failure is a reflection on us as an individual. Moreso than our circumstance, societal context, or privileges.

Then we are plunged into parenthood. Undertaking a role with none of the key indicators of success we are used to.

Research tells us...

Mothers have the added challenge of adjusting to this new role alongside intense & unrealistic societal expectations.

A 'good' mother must be nothing less than perfect.

A phenomenon not (yet), or at least not in the same way, experienced by fathers.

The flip side

Given these expectations it is understandable that we cling onto anything that might demonstrate that we are a good parent or mother.

Our ego relying on how well our baby sleeps or eats, how they behave, when they hit milestones, or how well we adapt to parenting.

But within this framework, when our experiences inevitably do not meet all expectations, we unfairly blame ourselves...

Our inner critic

Feeding not going well: 'I should try harder'
Baby hitting milestones later than others: 'I should have done more activities with them'

Experiencing perinatal mental illness:
'I should be more relaxed, more resilient, or more grateful'

Unhelpful 'shoulds' about things that are largely outside of our control.

Final thoughts

There is freedom in recognising that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. That our baby & our experiences are beautifully unique.

Our ego no longer relying on arbitrary & external metrics of 'success'.

And rather, accepting ourselves and our baby, simply wherever we are at.
Source: Forbes et al. 2019. The Family Journal. doi: 10.1177/1066480719893964

22/08/2022

MISTAKES IN MOTHERHOOD - Do you feel comfortable making mistakes as a parent?

On his podcast, Dr Karl () recently interviewed a prominent astrophysicist, Prof Glazebrook. Prof Glazebrook spoke about a very public correction he had to make to some of his findings. These findings had already been published with acclaim in the New York Times😬. He realised after publication that he had made a mistake and had to publicly acknowledge this.

Owning up to his mistake ended up getting more attention than the results had in the first place, but was critical to scientific integrity!

Whoops!🤦

What does this have to do with parenting or motherhood?....

You might not need to let the New York Times know that you burnt your kids toast today, or that you forgot to bring spare nappies when you left the house...again.

But it's good to know that everyone, everywhere is making mistakes, no matter how put together they may seem! Even professors at the top of their field, who get paid to shoot expensive things into space.

Even better, when your kids see you make a mistake and recover, they learn that it is ok to be human. That these moments are just another opportunity for learning ❤️

'If you're not making mistakes, then you're not doing anything'

Remember this quote anytime you give something a go from now on. Or anytime you feel like you could have done better (hint: we are all just trying our best, and none of us are getting it 100% right of the time!).

Source: Podcast episode: Hunting Exoplanets with Prof. Glazebrook (Ep. 287). Shirtloads of Science

18/07/2022

THIS WEEK ONLY! Use Code: MOVINGSALE.

Grab yourself an absolute bargain on quality baby and toddler products with 20% off everything storewide with the code above🥳

We are moving with a toddler and a baby very soon, and need to get our essential baby and toddler products out of our moving boxes and into your hands! 📦

Goodies include:

🍼The world-loved Haakaa Manual Pump and Ladybug + Bottles, Storage Bags/Containers

😴The number 1 selling newborn swaddle, the Miracle Blanket

🍲All your dinnerware needs including Suction Plates, Bibs, Fork + Spoon and Open Cups

👶The Perfect Pair: Mushie Pacifier Clips + Bibs Colour Pacifiers

🌏Modern Cloth Nappies

🧸Gorgeous Stacking Cups and Ringtower Toys

🦷Food grade teethers, including the Haakaa Fresh Food Feeder and Teether

While stocks last. Sale ends midnight Sunday 24th July 2022.

Use code MOVINGSALE to get 20% off your order.

17/06/2022

Did professionals or your partner understand your needs after having a baby?🤱

Carousel text: Do professionals & fathers understand the needs of new mothers? According to research

Firstly, who were the professionals & fathers?
A multi-stage qualitative study compared 'the needs expressed by mothers (see previous post) with the perception of professionals and fathers about the mothers' needs.' pg. 1
Professionals included: 1 gynaecologist, 1 midwife, 1 general practitioner, 2 psychologists, 2 medical-social workers & 1 nursery nurse. Plus, two second-time fathers.

🧑‍⚕️Perspectives of professionals

While the professionals thought that "there is enough information for women after childbirth; mothers just need time to assimilate it", the mothers reported that "there is nothing" after delivery. The researchers noted that the 'mothers have the impression that medical appointments after childbirth are targeted at their baby and not at themselves' pg.10

However, these 'professionals seemed to understand that mothers may be lost after childbirth but thought that this mainly concerns disadvantaged women' pg.10

👨‍👦Perspectives of Fathers

The fathers in this study understood that: (1) their support is essential to mothers, that (2) health visits were beneficial "to ensure all is well", (3) mothers have a need for sharing and for psychosocial support, and (4) mothers are under huge social pressure that fathers do not experience.

However, when presented with the needs of mothers (see previous post), the fathers were 'amazed' by the number and the nature of all these needs. The fathers also felt like they were in the 'same boat' as the mothers (which was not perspective of the mothers).

📚Source: Slomian et al. 2017. BMC Pregnancy Childbirth

16/06/2022

What did you NEED in the first year after having your baby? 🤱

Carousel text: What do mothers need in the year following childbirth? According to research

Firstly, who were these mothers?

A multi-stage qualitative study investigated the needs of mothers in the year following childbirth through individual & focus group interviews. Mothers were between 26 & 42 years of age. Most were first time mothers and included those who had and had not experienced psychological distress.

What did these mothers report needing?

1️⃣Need of information
Mothers felt unprepared for the realities of motherhood, particularly first-time mothers. They wanted access to reliable and realistic information.

2️⃣Need to share experience
Mothers reported needing to share their experience of being a new mother with family or friends. Preferably women who were already mothers. They wanted to be reassured of their skills, and to see whether what they were experiencing was normal or not.

3️⃣Need of psychological support
Even when there was no big problem during the postpartum period, mothers felt isolated, and in need of reassurance that they are good mothers, particularly first-time mothers. As well as being understood by their family and by professionals.

4️⃣Need of practical and material support
All the mothers reported needing help managing the household, including by their spouse. The kind of help that would allow them time to enjoy their baby and take care of themselves.

📚Source: Slomian et al. 2017. BMC Pregnancy Childbirth

06/06/2022

How do you define ‘back to normal’ for a person whose life has fundamentally changed by the addition of a baby? 💁‍♀️

How do you define ‘recovered’ for a person whose brain and body has made necessary and irreversible changes through pregnancy? 💁‍♀️

Is it fair to be prescriptive at all, given everyone’s experience is so different?!

👉Your responses needed their own post!

Overall, the majority of you do not believe there is such thing as a ‘back to normal’. While some of you are embracing your new normal with your baby. Overall, recovery is both a physical and mental endeavour, that takes time, not just 6 to 12 weeks!

[Carousel includes a number of slides with quotes from our community regarding what back to normal and recovery means after a baby]

03/06/2022

Have you ever experienced the pressure to bounce back after having a baby? 🙋‍♀️

Carousel text: 'Bouncing back' How the media contributes to weight stigma for pregnant & postpartum women TW: Discussion of pregnant & postpartum bodies

🌿Study 1 - what do women think?
Pregnant & postpartum women* reported experiencing pressure from the media to achieve an ideal appearance and quickly 'bounce back' after birth. They reported that celebrities who achieved either or both of these outcomes were praised.
Themes:
1️⃣Perfect or ideal body for pregnant and postpartum women
2️⃣“Bouncing back” right after pregnancy
3️⃣ Unrealistic expectations from the appearance of celebrity mothers

🌿Study 2 - What do women see?
The findings of Study 1 were contextualised within the media climate**. Which showed that the media climate largely confirmed the experiences of these women. The media was found to rarely portray pregnant women who were overweight or obese.

The media was also found to frequently discuss weight in pregnancy in a negative manner, often in relation to health consequences for the mother and child. However, these discussions did not reference official medical guidelines.

Further, weight gain and loss ideals were typically portrayed in an unrealistic way, with no mention of weight guidelines endorsed by health professionals.

*123 American women who had endorsed media as a source of weight stigma. Average age of the women was 27.38 years (std dev 4.49), 29.3% were 13+ wks pregnant, 70.7% were postpartum (< 1 yr of delivery), and 54.5% were 1st time mothers.
**major online news websites searched between Aug & Nov 2017 were ABCnews, CBSnews, CNN, FOXnews, and MSNBC. From 58,770 articles, researchers identified 33 relevant articles.
Ref: Nippert et al. 2021. Obesity. doi:10.1002/oby.23032

01/06/2022

Are you breastfeeding and wondering why you feel so tired 😴, or that your stomach is like a bottomless pit?

Well, these findings reported by Boss et al (1), who are prominent researchers in this space 🧑‍🔬, might bring you some comfort. Or at least help you recognise the amount of work your body is doing to feed your babe! 💪

The authors report these findings in the context of developing a website (LactaPedia (2)) that ultimately aims to improve the advice new parents receive about breastfeeding. To in turn help prevent early weaning in those who wish to breastfeed.

Whether you feed your baby directly, pump, mix or formula feed, you are doing a hell of a lot of work.🐣🤱

Feel free to look back at this post anytime you need an excuse (note: you don’t) to prioritise your own rest.💅

👉Share this with your support people, or the new parent in your life!

[Post text: Producing breastmilk uses 30% of your body's energy. This is 5% more than the energy required by your brain]

Refs:
(1) Boss, M, Hartmann, P, Turner, J, Pritchard, D, Pérez-Escamilla, R, Clifford, R. Development of LactaPedia: A lactation glossary for science and medicine. Matern Child Nutr. 2020; 16:e12969. https://doi.org/10.1111/mcn.12969
(2) LactaResearch Group. LactaPedia [Internet]. Boss M, Hartmann P, editors. Frauenfeld (CH): Family Larsson-Rosenquist Foundation; 2018 [cited 2022 05 31]. Available from: https://www.lactapedia.com/

26/05/2022

✨What have friendships meant to you since becoming a mother?

Carousel text: Do friendships preserve mothers' well-being? Perspectives of postpartum women

A qualitative study aimed to explore the experience of friendship across the transition to motherhood.

Participants were 8 first-time mothers between the ages of 24 and 38 years. The mothers were from the UK, were 8 to 11 months postpartum, and had attended antenatal classes in their third trimester.

Here is what the women reported...

1️⃣Feeling more confident
All of the women expressed a need for confirmation that they were competent mothers, and that their babies were developing normally. The women appeared to have enhanced self-efficacy from finding answers to problems from a peer group of women who had just had babies, rather than from professionals.

'I’d talk to the other girls and they’d say, ‘Well, my child’s done that,’ and I just wouldn’t feel worried or that I needed to rush off and get any advice from anywhere else.' - Claudia

2️⃣Making the year bearable
The women appeared to have a strong drive to be with other mothers. The friendships made across the transition to motherhood fulfilled important social and mental health needs.
'I think if I hadn’t had them, I would have needed something else to keep me sane' – Xanthe

3️⃣Forming “a Unique Bond”
All but one of the women talked about the special quality of the friendships they had formed across the transition to motherhood.
'You have that sort of compassion for each other, don’t you? Because you know that you’ve been through it” – Esme
Source: Nolan et al. 2012 21(3) J Perinat Educ

Play Nourish Thrive

08/09/2022

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